Alternatives to calling the police
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how, with things exactly as they are (so, without the community resources, policy changes, and ideas that would ideally exist in the future) I might want to respond to a situation in which I feel threatened. There is not a particularly strong sense of community in my geographic area, and I cannot think of any ‘people i know’ who I would feel comfortable calling for help were I to need it. I’m thinking primarily of abusive people, threats to my safety, dangerous behavior, and the like - I think drugs are a medical issue and being robbed would suck but that’s also not necessarily going to become personal if it’s just about money. Has anyone here read about, or practiced, any methods for deescalating, defending against, or getting out of such situations without having to ask the police? I would like have some of these ideas thought through and waiting in the back of my mind before I actually need them.
Unfortunately, you basically listed the 2 most effective ways to do this as unavailable: local community and family/ friends.
Yes, very much so, but it's not simple stuff you can impart in a forum thread. I've gone through several de-escalation courses while working for a university. Actual de-escalation training is (or at least, should be when done right) very technical, because there is a lot of variability in your methods depending on the situation:
Any of those things (and more that I'm not thinking of off the top of my head) can change how you approach the situation, and the actual methods of de-escalation are very complex on their own.
You can take courses in de-escalation on your own, if your job is presumably not providing it (avoid de-escalation courses paired with, rolled-into, or run by self-defense trainers, imo. Look for ones that specialize in preparing teachers, medical staff, and care and social workers).
If you don't have family or friends around, I highly suggest introducing yourself to some neighbors. People are often shocked how much neighbors want to interact as a community, but most of the time no one ends up taking that first step. Plan a meet-and-greet for your apartment complex, go around and introduce yourself door-to-door , with some cookies, etc.
DO NOT lead with "I'm looking to find a group of people to be a local community intervention and defense group, to avoid having to bring police into situations we can handle ourselves." You'll get the wrong people interested. xD
Lastly, self-defense is important, and you should know how to defend yourself and others. Don't fall for people telling you martial arts are useful for this. BJJ is useful if someone else grapples you, but you want to avoid getting into that situation as much as humanly possible.
Retreat is always safest/best. Ranged defense is second-safest. Hand-to-hand is not at all safe. Take that as you will.
I did a de-escalation thing for teachers, it's actually super interesting. One surprising thing for me is that if a student comes at you with a weapon, sit down, I unfortunately had to deal with that situation shortly after, totally works. I got a grown adult man to calm all the way down using the techniques I was taught. Obviously someone coming at you with a weapon is a dangerous situation regardless, and there's no way to sort it 100% of the time, but what I did went against every instinct I had and was really good.
The person who recommended actual de-escalation courses is right and is more knowledgeable on the topic than me and has already answered this thoroughly.
However, I highly recommend looking up "conflict resolution" workshops, specifically for the "mirror, empathize, validate" ideas. It's really worth going through a whole workshop/watching a whole video on this, even though it might seem like it'd be trite on the surface. Similarly, "active listening" is another term one might look up.
And for what it's worth, I have found the "nonviolent communication" philosophy to be helpful on a personal level. I don't fully buy into all of it - for one, at least in its original form it disregards the reality of societal level problems, racism, sexism, institutional hierarchies under capitalism, and disabilities - but even so, I find some of it really compelling. Here's a series of youtube videos about it, by the philosophy's founder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZnXBnz2kwk&list=PLPNVcESwoWu4lI9C3bhkYIWB8-dphbzJ3. Again, I don't know if there is any research done to support or contradict the various parts of this (if anyone knows, I'd be interested to learn more, either way), but on a personal level I have found it very helpful to consider, especially because it questions some assumptions that are so universal I hadn't previously thought to question them.
I wonder, also, if it might be possible to find resources to learn about how to more accurately assess whether a situation/person is threatening or not in the first place. And of course being aware of your own potential biases is important here.
Also, if you find yourself, say, alone in a waiting room with a creepy seeming person, or on a sidewalk at night with some random other person(s) who is probably totally innocent but is giving you the heebie jeebies for whatever reason - never forget you can fake a phone call. Or really call someone, and talk about whatever. People are less likely to attack someone who is talking on the phone since that adds a witness, though a distant one. And as a bonus, it'll make you seem less threatening to the other people, too, in case they have the same problem.
Traditionally, the number one reason for pistol ownership is for solving this very problem.
Don't call the police, they're quite likely to shoot people and make things much worse. Instead why not shoot them yourself?
This topic specifically is how many of the well known gangs of Chicago and LA were formed, like the Crips originally being formed to eliminate gangs to become a neighborhood watch, or the Latin Kings forming to combat racist acts of violence and depredation, there are a lot of similar instances over the decades (maybe even centuries) but ultimately a legitimized citizens militia or neighborhood watch that can react to circumstances would probably be a good alternative, but we all know what happened when the Black Panthers tried to fill this niche.
Edit: I also left out the Guardian Angels, which still exist as a organization, used to see them all the time growing up in NYC during the 80's, but they have their faillings as an organization as well.
You can look into if there are neighborhood watch organizations in your area. Some are religious, some aren't. You'd probably have to do some digging on how well equipped they are, but some are almost shockingly well equipped to handle certain situations.
A lot of times "neighborhood watch in effect" signs are empty threats or defunct at best but you really never know.
If you live in the northeast US, I do know there is a Jewish one that's free and can help with lots of situations. I forget the name though.
Instead of police we can call a crackhead. /s