Explain bidets for me please.

Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 216 points –

How do you not drip back onto it? Do you use paper too? How is it okay for me to use the same one right after Typhoid Larry? Doesn't poo go everywhere?

It just seems so weird.

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Can you explain washing your hands? It seems so weird. Doesn’t the water just drip back on the sink? Do you dry your hands with paper after?

What seems weirder is using paper alone to wipe away feces from your body and doing nothing else during a bowel movement to clean yourself. I cannot understand my own countrymen’s aversion to using them. Squirting your asshole with water does’t make you gay.

Why are you making out like OP is stupid for asking questions about something they clearly just don't know much about? You could have just answered the questions.

Op didn't even respond to a single comment here i.e. They are just venting about the 'weirdness' of a bidet and not actually looking for answers - just looking to validate their stupid opinion. So calling them out on that is the correct response.

Or, quite possibly, reading others' answers to a question doesn't require another response from the questioner no matter how delicate your sensibilities may be. Or maybe OP just is less terminally online than you and hasn't been back to lemmy since posting this yesterday at 20:03, which is what, 12 whole hr ago during the holiday season?

Squirting your asshole with water does’t make you gay.

Are you sure though? I’m scared to test this theory.

I remember reading a comment thread on reddit about a guy who discovered his friend refused to wash his ass crack in the shower because he thought it was gay.

I definitely worked with that guy.

If you’re scared of being gay you might actually just be gay.

In all seriousness though, everyone should get a hand bidet installed on their toilets ASAP. Once you squirt your asshole with water to clean the poop off you will immediately realize how disgusting you’ve been up until that moment in your life using only flimsy ass ass paper to wipe shit off your body.

I swear, Puritanism really did a number on North America.

Do you dry your hands with paper after?

That or with a towel.

Ahh, I see.

When using a bidet, you must always be face-down ass-up with the sprayer above you.

In the US only the rich have bidets. Do you have an electrical outlet right near your toilet? I don’t want cold water spraying my ass and getting an outlet installed near the toilet in an apartment I don’t own is very expensive.

  1. Your anus can’t feel temperature that much so cold water hitting it really isn’t that big of a deal.
  2. Warm water bidets don’t use electricity, they use a hot water tap from the near by (and generally easily accessible) bathroom sink. Sure you might need to drill a hole in a cabinet but it’s not outrageously inaccessible or expensive to setup. You just need to watch like 2 plumbing youtube videos.
  3. I live in the US. I am not rich. I have a bidet—it is a hand nozzle attached to my toilet’s water tap that cost $30.

As someone who has one of the non electric bidets installed and was afraid of having a puckered asshole the first time I used it, it's not that cold. And it's so worth it. I can't go back and will have a bidet everywhere I live in the future.