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ramboteng@kbin.social to Reddit Migration@kbin.social – 458 points –
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What's the best way to get rid of a body... theoretically?

Own a pig farm.

This is the correct answer…I’ve heard…

theoretically

I got scared until you said this, ofc any question is fine as long as it is hypothetical.

Pigs or acid!

You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pissant. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shit now do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of un-cooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."

Put them in a freshly dug grave. Nobody will think of looking there.

For some reason, the priest giving our marriage preparation classes thought it was necessary to share this unsolicited fact.