If this ever gets made into like a docuseries or movie, future generations aren’t going to believe that the legal team of a former President in a civil case was this incompetent.
Like there’s no way to make said movie and not have it be a comedy of errors.
It's the Trump candidacy, presidency, and aftermath were a TV series, we'd be yelling at the writers to make it more realistic.
Someone explained to me that fiction needs to be believable, but reality has no such constraints
There will almost certainly be a season of American Crime Story about this one day, but unfortunately not until after it's over. It will be over one day, right?
It will. One criminal charge sticks and Trump's done. He's old enough that any of them would be an effective life sentence, and the rest will be bookkeeping.
My money's on this being the only way the GoT writers think they can redeem themselves...
Now hear me out: Arrested Development, Trump version. Think about it. A family of horrible, dumb people dragging each other down. The family father getting caught doing illegal stuff and running the dumbest defense ever. The idiot lawyer holding a press conference on a shitty parking lot next to a porn shop because noone bothered to check if it was the right Four Seasons (still the funniest thing to happen in the last 2,000 years). I can totally see Eric Trump saying "Illusion, Ivanka. Magic is something a whore does for money."
The only thing missing is someone decent enough to play Michael (which is saying something, because even Michael was a horrible person).
Henry Winkler shows up. "I've got some experience defending 'light treason'! "
I was actually thinking Jeffrey Tambor would be a great pick for Pence.
Tambor could do a great Rudy Giuliani.
Rudy needs someone more erratic, small, short and with a scrunched up face
He wouldn't even have to pretend to be a scumbag :D
It’s fairly easy to understand, though - his cases are hopeless because he’s plainly guilty. He expects his lawyers to lie for him, endangering themselves, make frivolous arguments, and try anything to delay cases. It raises their profile, but makes them look bad to normal people, and then on top of it, he will simply ignore bills to avoid paying anything. Therefore he’s only left with desperate, incompetent or dumb lawyers. Because nobody reputable would want a client like that.
IIRC, his lawyers have been getting paid up front since Kise was hired.
Lawyers
Therefore he’s only left with desperate, incompetent or dumb lawyers
No, they're dumb. You're not entitled to legal counsel for civil trials, only criminal ones. That means any lawyer who represents him in the New York case is choosing to do so.
Of course they’re doing it voluntarily. What I mean is the group of people willing to work for him is small at this point. And obviously Trump isn’t capable of representing himself.
Title it "Fucking Morons" and make it as serious a documentary as possible.
"I'm a very stable genius!"
Narrator: "He wasn't."
Maybe something like White House Plumbers?
It'd be like Dr Strangelove. Start out writing a serious movie, but there's so much inherently funny stuff to work around that you have to give up and make it a comedy.
If this ever gets made into like a docuseries or movie, future generations aren’t going to believe that the legal team of a former President in a civil case was this incompetent.
Like there’s no way to make said movie and not have it be a comedy of errors.
It's the Trump candidacy, presidency, and aftermath were a TV series, we'd be yelling at the writers to make it more realistic.
Someone explained to me that fiction needs to be believable, but reality has no such constraints
There will almost certainly be a season of American Crime Story about this one day, but unfortunately not until after it's over. It will be over one day, right?
It will. One criminal charge sticks and Trump's done. He's old enough that any of them would be an effective life sentence, and the rest will be bookkeeping.
My money's on this being the only way the GoT writers think they can redeem themselves...
Now hear me out: Arrested Development, Trump version. Think about it. A family of horrible, dumb people dragging each other down. The family father getting caught doing illegal stuff and running the dumbest defense ever. The idiot lawyer holding a press conference on a shitty parking lot next to a porn shop because noone bothered to check if it was the right Four Seasons (still the funniest thing to happen in the last 2,000 years). I can totally see Eric Trump saying "Illusion, Ivanka. Magic is something a whore does for money."
The only thing missing is someone decent enough to play Michael (which is saying something, because even Michael was a horrible person).
Henry Winkler shows up. "I've got some experience defending 'light treason'! "
I was actually thinking Jeffrey Tambor would be a great pick for Pence.
Tambor could do a great Rudy Giuliani.
Rudy needs someone more erratic, small, short and with a scrunched up face
He wouldn't even have to pretend to be a scumbag :D
For those who don't know: ‘Transparent’s’ Trace Lysette on Accusing Jeffrey Tambor of Sexual Harassment: ‘It Was Hell’ and Arrested Development’s Jessica Walter talks Jeffrey Tambor’s harassment — with Tambor there
It’s fairly easy to understand, though - his cases are hopeless because he’s plainly guilty. He expects his lawyers to lie for him, endangering themselves, make frivolous arguments, and try anything to delay cases. It raises their profile, but makes them look bad to normal people, and then on top of it, he will simply ignore bills to avoid paying anything. Therefore he’s only left with desperate, incompetent or dumb lawyers. Because nobody reputable would want a client like that.
IIRC, his lawyers have been getting paid up front since Kise was hired.
Lawyers
No, they're dumb. You're not entitled to legal counsel for civil trials, only criminal ones. That means any lawyer who represents him in the New York case is choosing to do so.
Of course they’re doing it voluntarily. What I mean is the group of people willing to work for him is small at this point. And obviously Trump isn’t capable of representing himself.
Title it "Fucking Morons" and make it as serious a documentary as possible.
"I'm a very stable genius!"
Narrator: "He wasn't."
Maybe something like White House Plumbers?
It'd be like Dr Strangelove. Start out writing a serious movie, but there's so much inherently funny stuff to work around that you have to give up and make it a comedy.