Is there such a thing as "fart mints", like a breath mint for your farts?

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.