The only thing that works is abstinence. It's like handling a gun. Don't put your dick in something that you can impregnate unless you're ready for kids.
Disclaimer: This comment is not meant to be taken seriously. Even though it's true.
Worked for me, turned gay. Five stars/zero kids.
Keep trying! You’ll get his ass gregnant one day if you try hard enough!
or girl’s ass, I’m not sure which kinda gay you are!
I know it puts me at odds with probably every sex ed curriculum, but I don't think abstinence counts as birth control because it's not coitus that risks pregnancy. It's like saying ice skating is birth control.
Worked for me. Still don’t have kind
Condom. You can see that it's there. Closest you can get.
It is pretty easy to tamper with a condom in invisible ways, from poking holes or letting it expire, to stealthing. Hell, you can even cook the condom at low heat for a while in its package and you will cause significant structural damage to it, without even bruising most packaging.
Even a freshly bought condom and a little sleight of hand can go a long way into tampering. No birth control is trust free.
Get a vasectomy, it’s pretty close
The other party still has to trust that you actually got it and all the rest of the sperm have passed.
Lab tested and certified baby, I’d put it on my resume if that wasn’t weird
Would have to add some cryptography to that certificate to make it trustless.
New cryptocurrency in 3... 2...
I was just thinking about good old fashioned PGP lol.
Penis Gay Pregnancy
But then you're trusting every doctor's office to only sign off on men that are snipped. You need a decentralized oracle with random inspections from local sperm auditors.
I mean, a baseline trust in medical practice should be a given. Maybe not.
Is any birth control really trust free?
The only thing that works is abstinence. It's like handling a gun. Don't put your dick in something that you can impregnate unless you're ready for kids.
Disclaimer: This comment is not meant to be taken seriously. Even though it's true.
Worked for me, turned gay. Five stars/zero kids.
Keep trying! You’ll get his ass gregnant one day if you try hard enough!
or girl’s ass, I’m not sure which kinda gay you are!
I know it puts me at odds with probably every sex ed curriculum, but I don't think abstinence counts as birth control because it's not coitus that risks pregnancy. It's like saying ice skating is birth control.
Worked for me. Still don’t have kind
Condom. You can see that it's there. Closest you can get.
It is pretty easy to tamper with a condom in invisible ways, from poking holes or letting it expire, to stealthing. Hell, you can even cook the condom at low heat for a while in its package and you will cause significant structural damage to it, without even bruising most packaging.
Even a freshly bought condom and a little sleight of hand can go a long way into tampering. No birth control is trust free.
Get a vasectomy, it’s pretty close
The other party still has to trust that you actually got it and all the rest of the sperm have passed.
Lab tested and certified baby, I’d put it on my resume if that wasn’t weird
Would have to add some cryptography to that certificate to make it trustless.
New cryptocurrency in 3... 2...
I was just thinking about good old fashioned PGP lol.
Penis Gay Pregnancy
But then you're trusting every doctor's office to only sign off on men that are snipped. You need a decentralized oracle with random inspections from local sperm auditors.
I mean, a baseline trust in medical practice should be a given. Maybe not.
Be me