I swear these things are mimics or something

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 733 points –
13

Tbf that’s mostly because they come in two varieties, overfilled (which behave as the image describes) and empty.

We overfill them so you can't use them. Malicious compliance.

Don't you hate it when you reach for a napkin but then your hand gets stuck to the dispenser and you watch in horror as the sides of the dispenser morph into tentacles that reach out and mercilessly beat you into bloody mush - or they would, if it were a full-sized mimic, but instead the angry lil guy can only pitter-pat against your wrist and you're all like

Nyawww, lil napkin mimic, so angry and vish! But bro I kinda need my hands back now

So you pat and stroke the napkin mimic until it calms down and even lets you take a napkin like you wanted?

Just put the extra napkins in your pocket/bag, now you never need to buy tissues.

one fun trick though if you can carefully peel back the top half of one napkin and then pour a silly amount of salt inside, then tuck the napkin top back in.. so when your dad comes back and yanks you guys out some napkins it triggers PTSD and then while you're laughing thats when you realize thats the last time Dad will come back.

so worth it.

personally i'm a fan of tearing off everything except a small corner of a napkin