A hate crime

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 508 points –
13

This amuses me on multiple levels.

For one, it just looks like the temperature got high and the gum melted.

Second, I've seen enough dumb shit happen in real life that this could legitimately have happened.

I can believe it. Kinda reminds me of the time someone broke into my buddy's VW Golf by actually picking the lock on the trunk, climbing over (and breaking) the rear shelf and stealing some (but not all) chocolate candies he had in his center console. He even ate the candies in the car, there were wrappers all over the place.

Still baffles me to this day.

In the distance I saw a police car approaching. Quickly I slipped into the driver's seat of the VW Golf, shattered rear shelf remnants poking at my back. Heart pounding, I grabbed a handful of candies, hoping my impromptu candy feast would throw off suspicion. "Just a guy enjoying a snack," I thought, praying the police wouldn't dig deeper.

Rookie Officer Daniels and I rolled through the quiet streets, and his eyes widened at the sight of a small European car with a shattered rear shelf. "Should we check it out?" he asked nervously. Glancing at the driver indulging in candies, I chuckled, "Nah, just some late-night snackin'. Welcome to the quirks of the job, Daniels." Oblivious to the potential connection to recent car burglaries, we continued our patrol.

Finally alone in the car, I eyed the wallet I had found in the glovebox with a mix of temptation and paranoia. "Easy money, or avoid the risk?" I muttered to myself. The dilemma weighed on me as I calculated the consequences. Taking it could mean a fatter wallet but also a certain police report. I hesitated, torn between greed and the fear of drawing unwanted attention to my nocturnal activities.

This is way too real, there actually was money in the glove box but the candy thief didn't take any of it

That’s awesome!

Now I want to commit reverse crimes.

Like breaking into someone’s house, but instead of stealing their TV, I just upgrade it to a top of the line one and leave a mess of boxes and styrofoam so it’s obvious it’s been replaced in the middle of the night.

Feel free to stop by anytime

Reminds me when one politician lady hired investigators to find out who committed vandalism on her car with yellow spray paint it turned out it was pollen settling down on the car.

Someone broke into my car once and just moved everything from the trunk into the driver's seat for some reason. They didn't even steal any of my tools, which was honestly a little insulting.