What are the craziest misconceptions you’ve heard about programming from people not familiar with it?

Gianni R@lemmy.ml to Programming@programming.dev – 114 points –

As someone who spends time programming, I of course find myself in conversations with people who aren't as familiar with it. It doesn't happen all the time, but these discussions can lead to people coming up with some pretty wild misconceptions about what programming is and what programmers do.

  • I'm sure many of you have had similar experiences. So, I thought it would be interesting to ask.
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The worst and most common misconception is that I can fix their Windows issues from a vague description they give me at a party.

Lol! My mum still asks both me and my husband (“techy” jobs according to her) to solve all her problems with computers/printers/ the internet at large/ any app that doesn’t work… the list is endless. I take it as a statement of how proud she is of me that she would still ask us first, even if we haven’t succeeded in fixing a single issue since the time the problem was an old cartridge in the printer some 5-6 years ago.

Isn't the solution to send them this link? ;-)
https://distrowatch.com/dwres.php?resource=major

Windows bad. Linux good. No need for nuance, just follow the hivemind.

Do you have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and Saviour, Linus Torvalds?

Oh you have an issue on Linux? Just try a different distro

(this one hurts more because it technically usually works)

My favorite is "and there was some kind of error message." There was? What did it say? Did it occur to you that an error message might help someone trying to diagnose your error?

What did it say?

I've had users who legitimately did not understand this question.
"What do you mean, what did it say? I clicked on it but it still didn't work."

Then you set up an appointment to remote in, ask them to show you what they tried to do, and when the error message appears, they instantly close it and say "See, it still doesn't work. What do we even pay you for?"
I've had remote sessions where this was repeated multiple times, even after telling them specifically not to close the message. It's an instinctive reflex.

Or it won't happen when you're watching, because then they're thinking about what they're doing and they don't make the same unconscious mistake they did that brought up the error message. Then they get mad that "it never happens when you're around. Why do you have to see the problem anyway? I described it to you."

When that happens, I'm happy. Cause there is no error when the task is done right.
I mail them a quick step-by-step manual with what they just did while I watched.
When the error happens the next time I can tell them to RTFM and get back to me if that doesn't solve the issue.