What's a life lesson you learned the hard way that you'd want to share with others to help them avoid the same mistake?

return2ozma@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 212 points –
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If you see a toilet in your dreams, don't use it!

Can't confirm. I've had lucid dreams, where I'm aware that it's a dream, but not in control.

Then I started just pissing everywhere. And I could feel my sweatpants getting soaked. And then I shit myself. And in the dream I'm panicing because I know it's happening in real life. I'm very aware that when I wake up my sweatpants will be piss soaked, and I have shat myself. I can FEEL it happening as it happens. Then I wake up. No shit. No piss. Totally dry, and I IMMEDIATELY need to get to a bathroom. Where I shit and piss in the toilet.

And then I stand up, and there's no shit or piss in the toilet. And I'm like "WTF??? Am I just groggy? What the hell is happening???"

Then the toilet starts talking. "FEED ME YOUR TASTY POOPS!!!" And I'm like what the fuck is going on? Am I on drugs???" And this toilet is getting angry that I won't shit in it's mouth. Then it starts stomping around like the piano from Super Mario 64.

Then I wake up, and IMMEDIATELY need to piss and shit. So I run to the toilet, and yell at the toilet "ARE YOU GOING TO DEMAND I SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH??? I KNOW YOUR TRICKS, TOILET!!!"

And thats when I hear my neighbors laughing, because the walls are thin, it's 3AM, and they now think I'm crazy.

This has happened several times. I hope I never meet my neighbors.

Weed will reduce your dreams, which could be good or bad in your situation.

What about if there's a fire, can I use the hose to put it out?

It probably wouldn't even put the fire out.

Watch "Strange Brew" and let me know if you change your mind on that.

Awesome Canadian movie.

When that was first said, what came to mind was actually Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black. Fires are typically not even weak to a firefighting hose, that's why those firefighting games at Chuck E. Cheese are so hard. Firefighting is actually more difficult than that.

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