epic ratio rule

spujb@lemmy.cafe to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 311 points –

Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was EDIT this link is an OLD POST that contains my thesis on the state of lemmy and is not the context of the much more recent comment in the screenshot. sorry for any confusion caused by this juxtaposition, my main goal with having this linked is to expose how nothing has improved

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IMO the context does absolutely make up for it

It really doesn't, since the comment you quoted is basically saying that women making decisions over their own bodies is the cause of misogyny, which is the most generic MRA victim blaming bullshit which doesn't deserve to be legitimised by being seriously addressed, nor defended by people pretending to have good faith.

Do everyone a favor and consider your position more carefully. Particularly, consider the difference between an individual woman deciding what to do with her body and an entire movement asking for a large number of women to do (or not do) something with their body.

the comment isn’t saying women can’t make their own decisions… the comment is saying that the guy wants to have sex, and if he can’t then they’re incompatible partners right now… women are allowed to make choices about their bodies, and men are allowed to make choices about activities they’d like to have in their lives

the reply comment implies that he only thinks about using a woman for sex, which is not what he’s saying at all

another example would be if 1 person wanted to live in the city and the other wanted to live in a farm: likely a deal-breaker, just like not having sex

this is a horrible read. it's about how men not getting incentive to do the right thing would result in e.g. lawmakers being pressured to repress women. it's fine if they only 4b those who don't respect them or abortion

believe what you want, but as a gay man (i say this so you’re aware that there’s no misogyny involved edit: and by which i mean my personal sex life does not involve women so gender does not come into play in this specific situation), i’d never date someone where sex was off the table… i wouldn’t force it on anyone of course, but we fuck or we break up - sex is too important for my mental health to deny myself

Lmao at the idea a gay man can't be misogynist.

that’s not at all the intention of the comment - simply that when i make a comment directly related to my personal sex life, you’re aware that there are no women involved, thus the comment eliminates misogyny from the equation in that specific case. i’m sorry for not being clearer on that. i’ve added an edit to my comment so that it’s more apparent

My issue with 4b is we know it doesn't work.

What's the one thing that we know helps people stop being bigoted? Exposure to the people they're bigoted against. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2705986/

The 4b movement is like saying "the solution to racism is segregation"

On an interpersonal level, women absolutely should be wary of every man they come across, but that doesn't mean a more extreme version of that works as a cultural movement.

another example would be if 1 person wanted to live in the city and the other wanted to live in a farm: likely a deal-breaker, just like not having sex

Only if living in the city is the same as bodily autonomy, and living on a farm is rape.

But hey, this is great, keep telling on yourselves, it makes you easier to block and avoid.

No, it isn't.

That analogy would only work if the person who wanted to live on the farm just made the other person come with them. Breaking up and going their own separate ways is not at all analagous to rape.

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