Cheaters are just wannabe singles.

fubo@lemmy.world to Showerthoughts@lemmy.world – 18 points –
19

I think it's the opposite thing. They can't be alone, they crave attention and validation. A desperate need to have someone around.

I was thinking more in the sense of "doing something that will lead to breaking-up / divorce" and "acting as if you're already single when you're not".

Weeeell most cheaters don't intend to be caught or confess. But I get your point.

Exactly. This post is like saying men who hit their women are wannabe singles. It massively underestimates the stability of abusive relationships.

Just because one person is abusing the other doesn’t mean the relationship is ending. It would be far less horrifying if that’s what it meant, but that is not what it means.

I think this is way off base. It's easy to make yourself single.

Cheaters either think they will get away with it, or are lying to themselves about what they are doing.

"My partner won't mind so much."

"Nothing that feels so right could be wrong."

"I'm not the kind of person who cheats, so considering the circumstances, this doesn't really count."

I think the joke is they want to MAKE themselves single, but also that they ACT like they are single. But yes I'd bet the average cheater is in denial about both sides of this shower thought.

Or wannabe polygamists?

First step to polyamory is consent.

If I've learned anything from all those documentaries about cults, it's that the first step to polygamy is identifying a vulnerable population

That’s the difference between polygamy and polyamory

You have to be a special kind of stupid to actually believe that

I always knew I was special.

Polyamory tends to be very focused on consent and the ethics involved. Polygamy tends to be pushed by religion to ensure an unequal power distribution.

What do you have an issue with?

Well, even then, the differences between a paradigm of romance, and a state-supported power-structure... Are not just 'consent', now, are they?

Your implicit separation of religion from concepts like ethics and consent

Sorry, holdover from catholic school. I should have specified: oppressive social movements couched in religion.

Cheaters tend to be controlling in their relationships. They crave that control, so they don't actually want to be single. They just want all of the power in the relationship.