What's in your mouth?! Drop it!

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to Memes@sopuli.xyz – 378 points –
16

We all know that specific chewing noise, and then the speed up when they know you know and are going to take it

Hhrumphh smlumpk shlumfd

This is my dog when he finds any greasy paper takeout bag/box. He does some suspicious movement, we make eye contact, then he start snarfling that shit down.

"drop it, drop it, I just want you to not die god damnit, drop it!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣 totally. One time my boy came out of the brush with 2 golfballs in his mouth. I swear one of them was plugging his throat like damn cork but he was holding on with the force of 1000 suns

We had a dog with an affinity for eating rubber things. If you left out a rubber ball, a super ball, or a rubber band he'd jump on the counter and scarf it up.

He also very much enjoyed grapes and one time ate a whole bunch of lily of the valley, so the vet got to know him pretty well.

nothing quite like a dog, I love those guys 🤣🤣

My husky did this with a dove she caught once. Normally she just plays with the animals until she knows they are dead, but she swallowed the fucker whole when she saw us coming to take it away from her.

Oh a time for me to share my specialized expertise! So I was a dog walker for almost a decade and I've learned an amazing trick that has worked on 100% of dogs I've tried it on and is very safe from the human if done correctly.

  1. Get your hand ready, you're going to use your middle finger and your thumb to pince together so get your other fingers out of the way and get just the middle finger and the thumb ready to pince.
  2. Stand kind of behind and to the side of the dog, with the dog on the side of whichever is your dominant hand (right if you're a righty, left if you're a lefty).
  3. Move your ready to pince hand up behind their head and up to their muzzle.
  4. Like an arcade claw machine game you're gonna lower your hand down over their muzzle and slip your thumb and your finger behind their canine teeth MAKE SURE YOU BRING SOME OF THE DOG'S LIP WITH YOUR FINGERS!!!

Side note here: I know this seems like you're going to get bitten by putting your hands in a dog's mouth between their teeth but this is VERY CRUCIAL you MUST grab some of their lip with your fingers and bring their lip down into their teeth with your fingers so that they feel like if they bite down then they're just going to bite themselves. And don't put too much pressure or you'll hurt the dog.

100% of the time as soon as the dog feels their lips slip between their own teeth, their mouths will just open right up. They might start struggling a bit to try to break loose of your grip, but keep your pinced fingers firmly in place while with your other hand you remove the object from their mouths. You might not even have to reach in there because they sometimes drop what they're holding as soon as your slip your fingers in there. And if it feels like the lips are slipping out or the dog is going to break free, just get your fingers out of there and try again when the dog calms down.

Also just don't try this on a dog you're not familiar with, an unfamiliar dog might just turn around and bite you as soon as you get close. If there's some level of trust between you and the dog, there's no chance they'll bite you if done correctly. I've probably done this to like 40 different dogs in my life and it works 100% of the time.