Why isn't anyone farting in school?

Anon518@sh.itjust.works to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 181 points –

I was homeschooled previously with a small group of other children and we fart in class all the time.

Now I'm in public school for high school and no one is farting. I was very sheltered and public school is like a whole new world for me, so I don't know what the norms are. I've been holding it in but my stomach hurts and it leaks out anyway.

I don't understand how there are so many more people in high school and yet zero farts...

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yeah, you dont know how to act in public. youll pick it up fast.

no farting.

So everyone's able to hold it in? Where do they fart?

You discreetly carpet bomb the hallway between classes like a gentleman. If the smell catches up, then look around non chalantly to pretend your looking to see who farted.

Depending on the chair and how you position your butt cheeks, you can sometimes sneak out a fart silently.

The sound is not the issue. I haven't smelled anyone farting.

Do you think they everybody's flatulence smells bad or even noticeable all the time? This is not the case.

If yours is particularly bad and common enough that you're finding it to be an issue, you may need to address your diet, and perhaps check to see if you're lactose intolerant too, just to be on the safe side.

Yup, 90% of mine dont smell since it's just air I swallowed because of my cpap.

If they smell that means you need to shit. Or you have a diet brewing that all up.

If your farts smell, it means they came from inside your butt.

If your farts don’t smell, it means your sense of smell sucks and you’re in denial.

Between classes, masking it with other noises, lifting a leg to prevent any telltale sound.

There's lots of strategies. You delay as much as you can but when you got to vent you got a vent and take the humiliation

Like other people said in this thread, check your diet. Make sure to eat plenty of fiber, and reduce gas-inducing food you eat. People who constipated usually fart a lot more. Also, if you have to fart, don't do it in a room full of people. Do it outside or in the bathroom.

You let it out slowly and carefully. If you get found out, well...you'll feel the shame. Also, you don't want to let out so much that other people can pinpoint you as the culprit. "Whoever smelt it, delt it" as the saying goes...so be sure someone else says something about smelling it first before you react in kind...but not too eagerly.

You pick up tricks. Mainly farting while walking. If you get your foot placement and pivot properly you can send it out without much "pushing". I don't tend to try and push my farts, as I am old and I don't trust them all.

You might be over thinking it. Everyone farts, but it's seen as more acceptable to fart away from other people's noses. You don't really wanna smell someone else's gas, do you?

I don't tend to try and push my farts, as I am old and I don't trust them all.

LMAO skid marks

  1. Learn to do it silently.

  2. Excuse yourself and go into a different room to let it out.

  3. Just wait until class is over and do it in the hallway, also silently.

Normal people hold their farts, consolidating them as the day goes on so they can release a large one in front of their husband/wife at the dinner table and discuss the days eatings.

Y'know, like normal people.