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SagXD@lemm.ee to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 1002 points –
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Is this an event for the next version of the Apple Vision Pro?

Apple Taste Pro is a white sausage-shaped devices that you shove down your throught and controls your taste buds, olfactory system and controls breathing.

This would actually probably maybe work

Even better I reckon would be to use bone conduction technology like those sports headphones, but attach it up to your sternum.

Personally I wish someone would make headphones that comes with a wireless "subwoofer" that attaches somewhere to your body and vibrates to the bass. The closest I found to this was the Skullcandy Crusher series. But the motors are in the headphones, which makes them bulky. Still, hardest hitting bass I've ever heard in a pair of headphones. It is unfortunate that a more prestigious brand won't take the concept and evolve it.

hey, i have one of those skullcandy headphones

Don't get me wrong, they're amazing for bass-heavy music; they're just not so great if you care about things like imaging, sound staging, a neutral frequency response, and low latency Bluetooth, none of which the crushers are particularly good at. The Crusher Evo has such bad staging, for example, that they almost sound mono. Makes them completely worthless for movies and games (which is a shame, cause movies and games could always benefit from more bass).

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And it will have whopping 5 apps at launch and 5 more during its lifetime (maybe). You also most likely need a mortgage to buy one.

I don't want to think of what the FaceTime integration would be like...

In 2010 we brought you FaceTime. Today, we are proud to announce FleshTime, the new best way to communicate with your loved ones.

We already have synchronized sex toys

Apple always announces products like they are the only ones, except maybe with the first iphone. "this is the best iPhone yet" not the "best smartphone in the market".

Also they wouldn't call it sex toys, they would call it a whole new revolutionary class of communication devices.

iBreathâ„¢ control now available for the low price of $19.99 a month!

It will project a super low-rez image of your tongue for others to see

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