Saw this fucking ad so I had to fix it (original add in post box)

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 165 points –
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“Everyone loves hiking”

Lie detected

Clearly you've not been on tinder any time in the last 10 years. If tinder profiles are correct, literally everyone looooves hiking

Everyone thinks they love hiking until they hike without trails.

Human trails or deer trails? Because my absolute favorite hiking experience was when a group of friends and I said 'fuck it' to the people trails and spent the day wandering the deer trails.

10/10, will do again

Hiking without a trail is better imo

Not many will agree on that however.

I just enjoy walking outside. I don't need to make it a contest in difficulty.

A more challenging route does lower the odds of encountering other people though which is a plus. Nice to have the solitude even if that means extra effort.

I beg to differ. I like to pick a treeline and just dive in, and I've had a ton of weird encounters. Like once I was walking through the woods, and I very suddenly came to a clearing... There were two dudes in their underwear and a single moped

I had so many questions... Like why didn't you stash the moped closer to the trail? Or did you have your underwear on already, or did you hear me and scramble? Are your clothes in the moped saddlebags, or did you ride out like this?

I had no idea how to react, so I just gave a nod and nonchalantly walked between them like I was on a trail

The best way to avoid that is to not start at a trail to begin with. But that is difficult in many places of the world. Since I'm from Sweden I'm free to roam pretty much anywhere I wish and that gives me an unfair advantage.

I mean you see other people for a matter of seconds as you pass them on the trail, maybe give a head nod or a quite hello and keep going. Going out of your way to avoid this seems extreme behavior that probably means you need help.

Oh, it's not about difficulty for me! If that was the impression I gave it was because I wasn't awake yet.

I just feel more relaxed when there's no set path.

In fairness, hiking is a great first date. Shared goal, nice scenery, and you can just talk about what you read about the length, difficulty, view of the hike if you're flailing for smalltalk

Then you hike, and you can point out what you see or ask random philosophical questions with time to think in silence without it being weird

And then, you spend some time seeing a nice view, maybe have a small picnic, and by the time you get back you already know each other without the awkward "interview" stage of a first date

If tinder wasn't a cesspool at this point, I'd probably have it in my profile

Get lured to a secluded area by a stranger…

Or alternatively, mutually agree to travel to a semi-public area where park rangers will start looking for you if your car isn't moved by sundown

There's a spectrum of hikes, the casual popular ones aren't exactly secluded areas

Its a great first date for like a "friend of a friend" connection. Its a terrible first date for a dating app.

The rules for online first dates:

  1. go somewhere you don't mind never going to again

  2. have an escape plan

  3. go somewhere public with lots of witnesses

Back in the day, I got so sick of seeing it that I just put: “I hate hiking, bonfires, and beaches.” It worked out pretty well.

Nice, met my now wife on bumble, hooked her with talk of my love of video games and Golden Age Sci-fi novels...or maybe despite of, she's pretty tight lipped about it.

Wouldn't say I love it, but I don't mind hiking, trees and mountains are cool. I also live in a part of new england where it's basically just trees mountains and hills so any sort of walking around turns into a hike

Yeah hiking is okay. But I like to exercise. People who like to exercise are in a huge minority.