magic

kewwwi@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 443 points –
15

"Your injuries shall coincide with OSHA regulations"

I wonder if a forklift somewhere was ever consecrated.

HOLY FORKLIFT

I can think of at least one.

My dad did that "Become a minister online" shit so he could perform the ceremony for a lesbian couple he knew who were having trouble shortly after same-sex marriage was legalized.

He also had a bit of fun with the whole thing, including the forklift, and "baptizing" a co-worker with cold coffee(it was the co-workers idea). Man even bought a set of cheap golf clubs from a pawn shop to bless, just so if he met Jason Lee, he could ask him to sign a holy putter.

Or if he met Ronnie James Dio (RIP) he could have him sign a Holy Driver.

I'm also certified to exchange propane cylinders. It's pretty important.

Pffft you need a diesel so you can huff the blue dragon every time you reverse

Beep cough beep cough

See now that just makes me think of a magical scam school that claims to teach levitation but just instead teaches people how to grab cutlery with mage hand so they can get Fork Lift Certification.