It's not just 'doom spending.' There is next to nothing to do without spending money anymore. Pretty much the only free things anymore are city parks in good weather and libraries all year around. I have a 13-year-old. She's constantly looking for things to do. There's so little for her to do for free. She's in online school, so sometimes it's nice to get out of the house and go to a cafe to do her schoolwork. $15 minimum every time.
Idk about you but every activity is about $100/month too. I have kids in dance, $100/month per kid. Same with swim lessons (yes at the YMCA too). Looked into ice skating lessons and it's the same. I want my kids to be able to try things but there's no way we can afford to do more than one activity at a time and that's a stretch sometimes.
Pff. Piano lessons, guitar lessons... That's about $300 a month if they're going weekly.
Well, shit. I was just about to start shopping for those, and now I've got sticker shock.
Yep. She has drum lessons once a week. That's all we can afford. And that's just her and a drum teacher, so it's not even like it's a ton of social interaction. I'd love to get her to do other classes and things like that, but we can't afford them.
Yeah and that's another barrier, start up cost. Instruments are expensive. I grew up playing hockey and if I want my kids to try it it's around $2000 just for one season.
We were (somewhat) lucky on that end. Her drum teacher sold us a simple drum set for $500 a couple of years ago and we've just added bits to it since then. Considering how much drum sets can cost, that was a bargain.
But we also had two incomes at the time. We're down to one now.
A snare drum can cost $500, easy.
Yeah, this is definitely not a high-end drum kit, but she's a kid and she's not going to be playing gigs any time soon.
No I mean, you got a deal!
For sure. I just wish she'd practice at home more often. Sigh. Kids.
That's kind of the sad part really. She doesn't use Lemmy, but she basically spends her free time, when she's not doing other solo activities like drawing, on social media so she has a way to 'hang out' with her friends. In her case, she doesn't even get to see her friends in school anymore (pulling her out was very necessary and partially her choice). If she wants to spend time with friends and doesn't want to do it with parents hanging around, and I don't blame her for wanting that, pretty much the only free thing she can do at this time of the year with them is walk around the mall and window-shop. In other words, the main free thing for kids to do is wish they had money.
In other words, the main free thing for kids to do is wish they had money.
To be fare it was the same way for me as a kid in the 80s
Luckily we still had alladins castle and Sega cities back then so we could at least play some games between wanting a cd or something from hot topic.
What about finding a band?
Even if she is still a very begginer I've seen that playing in a band can help you improve faster and learn other skills necessary as a musician (specially for drummers imo) also I made my best friendships and had the most fun while playing in a band.
PS: In case you havent done it; swapping the drum heads for good "brand name" ones can really improove a cheap drumkit, that and new cymbals (cymbals are the weakest part on any cheap drumkit).
Public schools have plenty of extracurriculars for free or cheap. It sounds like online school is holding back your child from the kind of experiences she's looking for.
You apparently have no current connection to public schools. All of the extracurricular activities cost money since the districts lost funding for them. Band? Uniform fee and instrument rental. Sports? Uniform and equipment fees. Dance, cheerleading, theater, etc. gotta pay since the school no longer has a budget.
Oh, no, that's the worst part - oftentimes the schools have the budget for it. But why spend on subsidizing the poors and losing an income stream when you can blow that money on a new stadium instead?
Clubs are typically free. Chess club, book club, tabletop gaming, etc. Additionally there is typically financial assistance for the fees, and regardless it's cheaper than pursuing these activities outside of a school setting. $100/no for a drum tutor would translate to an entire school year of many extracurriculars.
Kind of hard to have extracurricular activities when the student body is spread throughout the entire state.
Yeah exactly. I did online school for high school and feel like I really missed out since I couldn't join any clubs or participate in activities in-person.
I realize she'll miss out, but she was being so severely bullied in her school that she couldn't face another day, so we had to take her out. And now we need to give her time to heal.
Social isolation is also horrifically harmful to adolescents. Sounds like there's a better path here that allows your kiddo to get back into society and set her up for success in the future.
Maybe eventually, but not until she heals. She can't handle public school right now.
It's not just 'doom spending.' There is next to nothing to do without spending money anymore. Pretty much the only free things anymore are city parks in good weather and libraries all year around. I have a 13-year-old. She's constantly looking for things to do. There's so little for her to do for free. She's in online school, so sometimes it's nice to get out of the house and go to a cafe to do her schoolwork. $15 minimum every time.
Idk about you but every activity is about $100/month too. I have kids in dance, $100/month per kid. Same with swim lessons (yes at the YMCA too). Looked into ice skating lessons and it's the same. I want my kids to be able to try things but there's no way we can afford to do more than one activity at a time and that's a stretch sometimes.
Pff. Piano lessons, guitar lessons... That's about $300 a month if they're going weekly.
Well, shit. I was just about to start shopping for those, and now I've got sticker shock.
Yep. She has drum lessons once a week. That's all we can afford. And that's just her and a drum teacher, so it's not even like it's a ton of social interaction. I'd love to get her to do other classes and things like that, but we can't afford them.
Yeah and that's another barrier, start up cost. Instruments are expensive. I grew up playing hockey and if I want my kids to try it it's around $2000 just for one season.
We were (somewhat) lucky on that end. Her drum teacher sold us a simple drum set for $500 a couple of years ago and we've just added bits to it since then. Considering how much drum sets can cost, that was a bargain.
But we also had two incomes at the time. We're down to one now.
A snare drum can cost $500, easy.
Yeah, this is definitely not a high-end drum kit, but she's a kid and she's not going to be playing gigs any time soon.
No I mean, you got a deal!
For sure. I just wish she'd practice at home more often. Sigh. Kids.
As a percussion instructor, it makes me happy that you are investing in your child's talent by getting them lessons!
Thanks! She really likes it. I think it's a good way for her to get aggressions out that she has trouble getting out in other ways.
Only $100/mo? You're lucky! My nephews' tennis and violin lessons are way more than that. Like multiple times more. You must live in a LCOL area.
And then, there's Lemmy that's free! 🧐
Just kidding, I'm not disagreeing with you
That's kind of the sad part really. She doesn't use Lemmy, but she basically spends her free time, when she's not doing other solo activities like drawing, on social media so she has a way to 'hang out' with her friends. In her case, she doesn't even get to see her friends in school anymore (pulling her out was very necessary and partially her choice). If she wants to spend time with friends and doesn't want to do it with parents hanging around, and I don't blame her for wanting that, pretty much the only free thing she can do at this time of the year with them is walk around the mall and window-shop. In other words, the main free thing for kids to do is wish they had money.
To be fare it was the same way for me as a kid in the 80s
Luckily we still had alladins castle and Sega cities back then so we could at least play some games between wanting a cd or something from hot topic.
What about finding a band?
Even if she is still a very begginer I've seen that playing in a band can help you improve faster and learn other skills necessary as a musician (specially for drummers imo) also I made my best friendships and had the most fun while playing in a band.
PS: In case you havent done it; swapping the drum heads for good "brand name" ones can really improove a cheap drumkit, that and new cymbals (cymbals are the weakest part on any cheap drumkit).
Public schools have plenty of extracurriculars for free or cheap. It sounds like online school is holding back your child from the kind of experiences she's looking for.
You apparently have no current connection to public schools. All of the extracurricular activities cost money since the districts lost funding for them. Band? Uniform fee and instrument rental. Sports? Uniform and equipment fees. Dance, cheerleading, theater, etc. gotta pay since the school no longer has a budget.
Oh, no, that's the worst part - oftentimes the schools have the budget for it. But why spend on subsidizing the poors and losing an income stream when you can blow that money on a new stadium instead?
Clubs are typically free. Chess club, book club, tabletop gaming, etc. Additionally there is typically financial assistance for the fees, and regardless it's cheaper than pursuing these activities outside of a school setting. $100/no for a drum tutor would translate to an entire school year of many extracurriculars.
Kind of hard to have extracurricular activities when the student body is spread throughout the entire state.
Yeah exactly. I did online school for high school and feel like I really missed out since I couldn't join any clubs or participate in activities in-person.
I realize she'll miss out, but she was being so severely bullied in her school that she couldn't face another day, so we had to take her out. And now we need to give her time to heal.
Social isolation is also horrifically harmful to adolescents. Sounds like there's a better path here that allows your kiddo to get back into society and set her up for success in the future.
Maybe eventually, but not until she heals. She can't handle public school right now.