hope y'all are okay, reminder that you're valid

sunnie@sopuli.xyz to traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@lemmy.ca – 297 points –
21

I wonder why I do that sometimes...What's the mechanism in my head?

Literally just self harm.

I know some people do it because they see even hurtful content as reaffirming. Some people do it as like a "call of the void" thing.

I sometimes like seeing people say hateful things about groups I'm a part of or directly to me (online) because I think its funny how ridiculous some people are. Granted, its missing the "certain to make me feel bad" part.

Maybe trying to better understand or keep tabs on the enemy? ‘Enemy’ may be an imperfect word to describe such people but I also don’t think it’s necessarily wrong.

I sometimes check in on what my horrible abusive mother is doing. She recently started spreading transphobic bullshit too. Like BS from Peterson and whatnot.

Baffling to think she raised me.

Anyway. What I mean to say is, sometimes we punish ourselves. We should probably stop that.

In my opinion, as an old grey-haired dude, part of this movement should be folk realizing it's fine to be whatever you want to be. Be free, validate yourself; And realize nobody else's opinion matters in the slightest. The internet is full of hateful garbage if you look for it. It is a skewed bias. For every 1 person spouting hate there are 100x or a 1000x or 10,000x more positive and supportive folk out there either not posting on social media or not seeing a post like this randomly popup in their feed. And so you don't see the positive vibe others have toward trans for the same reason as nobody ever gets pulled over by a cop for the cop to say "Hey, just pulled you over to comment on how well you are driving today"

The hardest thing is that, for some of us, we rarely -- if ever-- hear those praises. Some of us lose our IRL support and have to go online to find any resemblance of friends or at least people to associate with.

Thank you for posting this. I used to do this on other sites when I would get depressed and blame myself for "not passing", etc. It would fill that dark place in my heart and make me feel like the punishment was deserved, like I was atoning for gender sins.

Just remember that you (yes you) are my favorite person to hear from!