Taliban Militants Fed Up With Office Culture, Ready to Quiet Quit

Matt@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 274 points –
Taliban Members Fed Up With Office Work, Ready to Quiet Quit
time.com
22

Ain't that the truth. They get you with all those ads about beheadings and taking child brides and stuff, then pull the whole boring office-job switcheroo and expect you to actually "run the government". What the hell is that?

Holy shit, I realize this is in NotTheOnion, but I'll be damned if this whole thing doesn't read like satire. Reading about former jihadists now being stuck in traffic, bored at work, and not being able to afford rent is oddly hilarious.

I chuckled about a Taliban fighter complaining about all the restrictions.

My man fought for Taliban.

Just another dumbass who had their face eaten by the leopards

Sounds more like a face eating leopard who ran out of faces and is stuck in a cubicle now.

The former fighters found themselves missing the freedom of the front-lines as they adjusted to the mundane nature of office work. Huzaifa, a 24 year-old former sniper, said, “The Taliban used to be free of restrictions, but now we sit in one place, behind a desk and a computer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Life’s become so wearisome; you do the same things every day.”

“In our ministry, there’s little work for me to do,” said Abdul Nafi, 25. “Therefore, I spend most of my time on Twitter. We’re connected to speedy Wi-Fi and Internet. Many mujahedin, including me, are addicted to the Internet, especially Twitter.”

And with a 9-to-5 comes the dreaded commute—and actually having to show up for the job in order to get paid. “What I don’t like about Kabul is its ever-increasing traffic holdups.” Omar Mansur, 32, said. ”These days, you have to go to the office before 8 AM and stay there till 4 PM. If you don’t go, you’re considered absent, and [the wage for] that day is cut from your salary. We’re now used to that, but it was especially difficult in the first two or three months.”

I never thought I would identify so much with the freaking Taliban.

Imagine being a freaking sniper and suddenly being forced to enter numbers into spreadsheets every day.

Hilarious

I feel like there's gotta be a little overlap there due to how complex it is to shoot a rifle any range over 500 meters.

Etid, grammar

At the very least a sniper should be good at sitting very still for hours at a time.

On the other hand they would not be verry well prepared for an open office environment.

The Taliban used to be free of restrictions

Haha lol.

I spend most of my time on Twitter.

Concerning.

Imagine finding out the dude you were shitposting with about femboys on twitter was a mujahideen.

At the end of the day, we're all just humans trying to deal with the soul-crushing oppression of capitalism. Hating a boring job is universal.

People arent kidding when they tell stories and tales of the warrior king who won his kingdom and squandered it from the throne.

Its a common myth premise for a reason

Killers and beaurcrats are the two sides of the coin of the state.