Bread Rule

rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 718 points –
26

When's the last time you've heard of a pizza delivery person going to the wrong house and killing someone?

Doesn't happen.

The reverse on the other hand, (going to the wrong house and getting shot at) way too often

Edit: Spleling

From the years I spent delivering pizza while going to school, one driver I knew was murdered and another caught a pretty good beating. Surprisingly both times they were attacked by the people they were supposed to deliver too.

Idk, I guess people who rob pizza drivers aren't usually the sharpest tools in the shed. In my experience most people are pretty chill when you go to the wrong house, most of the time they just joke about wanting to keep the pie.

I approve of the original version.

i was gonna extend this to a swatting analogy until i remembered that receiving uninvited/anonymous pizza deliveries is actually a real form of harassment.

Objectively a less invasive form of harassment than murder, but true nonetheless.

Okay but the delivery guy going to perform atrocities on say, members of the Russian mafia, sounds like the plot of a video game

Also, they bring you delicious food instead of violating your civil rights and shooting your dogs for fun

They'll also knock on your door instead of just bashing it in. Such nice people.

Delivery driver threw pizza at suspects during attempted carjacking

"your pizza delivery driver is probably the bravest guy in the world,” one resident said. β€œHe deserves all the applause that he can get.”

No thanks to the worthless ass cops:

Middletown Police attempted to stop the vehicle, but it continued until it reached New Haven. Once in New Haven, police said, the vehicle stopped and four people got out and fled. A police K9 track was conducted, but they did not find any suspects.

Then they arrested the delivery driver for possessing two grams of marijuana and they lived happily ever after.

I think in a utopia the people who choose to be delivery drivers would be ideal first responders. Good under pressure and are all about feeding strangers while driving fast.

Pizza Delivery Persons Lives Matter (PDPLM), it doesn't quite roll off the tongue and may need some work shopping.

I wanted to make the blue line sign with a yellow stripe, signifying cowardice, which cops mostly are, cowards

That flag already exists. I think it came out after Uvalde, but maybe it's been around longer. I'd love to slap it on my car but I'm afraid of the repercussions.