What's the most absurd thing you've seen someone refuse to do because of toxic masculinity?

PorkRoll@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 335 points –
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The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they're so tuff and manly and they "just won't crash".

I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.

This is my 4-year old's logic.

Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!

Him: But I am not falling! Look!

Me: πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ No, not yet, but you might!

Him: But I'm not!

πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ€ŒπŸ€Œ

Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I've ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they're living out some early 2000's Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.

One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would've otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it's not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.

Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked "why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls" and I'll never forget how they responded with "why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?"

Tbf that's not toxic masculinity usually, just stupidity. It's the same shit for men and women a like, and some idiots even teach their spawns to ride without one. But I guess you only buy helmet for the kids you want to keep...

If something I've learned from 15 years of bmx and MTB, is that there's no such a ride that doesn't warrant using a helmet; was it visiting shop, picking kid from daycare or a day ride

I disagree I would say most kids/teen's refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it's uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.

Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.

I'd call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem. In skateparks sure it is, but when you look at the streets people commuting, a helmet is a rare sight and it's almost even more common to see a guy with helmet than a woman.

It's similar to toxic masculinity, but I'd rather call it hivemindlessness lol

I’d call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem.

Toxic masculinity is not a solely male problem, it's a set of behaviors that's harmful or potentially harmful to either the person itself or people around them that is perceived as normal masculine behavior.

It’s similar to toxic masculinity, but I’d rather call it hivemindlessness lol

Those are the same things, Toxic masculinity is literally the product of the hivemind, the idea that you are a wuss if you protect your brain and wear a helmet isn't something that you are born with.

Yes, it is the same thing except the "masculinity" part. The "feminine" counterpart is toxic femininity.

We're talking about a problem that's not specific to either of those

It's not just stupidity, some people might just make different risk calculations than you. BMX and MTB is way different than visiting a shop.

If your risk calculations exclude every other person on the streets, sure I can understand why skipping helmet in order to preserve cool factor and hairstyle seems reasonable.
If you count in the fact that any idiot might just hit you down with their car after mixing pedals or some kid run in front of you, it's just obvious to wear a helmet unless if you're an idiot.

Using a helmet is basically comparable to a seat belt. Zero effort really, just a habit you're supposed to learn from childhood and automatic ever since.
How would you call a person refusing to use seatbelt other than a idiot?

You should stop mountainbiking if you really care about risk avoidance so much, "unless you are stupid and an idiot". It's much riskier than casual cycling without a helmet.

Yes exiting your house is also a huge risk, and statistically staying home is even bigger risk. Better just lock yourself to a soft room in an institute or commit unalive. /s

You clearly seem unable to understand what a stupid risk is. You're ignorant to the point you'd take a risk with zero possibility for a positive outcome, just for your fragile ego. Just like the rednecks too cool to wear a seatbelt or a construction worker at hights without harness.
I'd call it fair if it was for the thrill, that's cool and we all have done and are doing stupid dangerous things for it. That's maybe not always smart, but it's what keeps us alive. That's what we're talking about when we think of calculated risks. If I hit this trail, there's a chance I'll hit a tree if I make a mistake. Or I'll grind that rock garden with my face. I'm well aware of those risks.

Stupidity is to imagine those risks don't exist or let your ego ignore them because "I'm so fucking tough" or "I don't want to mess my haircut and I'm not gonna fall anyways I'm not a kid"

tOxiC mAScUliNiTy

Your friends sound like proper douchebags too btw.

TIL there's a proper way to be a douchebag.

I wasn't trying to define grades of douchebagness, but to tell you that your friends come off just as bad as their counterparts in your little anecdote. Since you seem to think your friends had a cool rebuttal, i suspect you're a douche too.

I never implied that, I just didn't know what you meant by a "proper" douchebag. Excuse me for having non-native-English skills.

Yep that's the dumbest thing. I've gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn't wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.

Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider's comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it's manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?

I've never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I'd have put that thing on ASAP.

Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that's totally apart from the safety issue.)

Only protect what you want to keep, as they say.

and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds

I wear a full face helmet because holy shit I know one saved my face. But even if the helmet wasn't a separator from potential meat crayon situation, I'd still wear it for this reason right here. Seriously, I've had some beetles hit my helmet so hard it made me recoil, I can't imagine taking one straight to face like that.

meat crayon situation

Yikes, that painted a horrible mental picture. Stay safe out there y'all :/

I've had beetles on the forehead while road cycling. Even at 40km/h that seriously hurts. Wouldn't want it to happen at 100!

I tell anyone who asks that motorcycle helmets can prevent accidents. Your high delta-V beetle is the perfect example of why.

I can't see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun