What's the most absurd thing you've seen someone refuse to do because of toxic masculinity?

PorkRoll@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 336 points –
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Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.

The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.

Not saying it doesn't happen but I've seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?

Have you actually seen this? Like, do you have a first hand account?

I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and "gay". I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that's good enough until my next shower.
One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that's your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
It's extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.

If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.

Well it must be true if it's on reddit.

lol actually just look. Literally tens-hundreds of stories. It’s not a global conspiracy or group false memory. I get the Reddit hate but that’s just silly.

Edit: some of you struggle. Y’all understand that I can lie about a personal experience much more easily than I could lie about the combined hundreds of experiences of mutually individual people on the internet. How is it that until I’ve personally experienced it it must be false? Real cream of the crop with you lot.

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How does this even come up in conversation, like what's the context? Do they not wipe either?

It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.

Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.

Sounds like he enjoyed the way it felt and that scared him.

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Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that's "for women". It's acetone, my dude, acetone.

All solvents are gay. That includes water, the gayest of solvents.

This makes sense, every gay person I've met drank water.

It's like my science used to say in grade school, "100% of people who consume dihydrogen monoxide end up dead".

Water has quite a few side effects, the evidence is clear!

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Meanwhile I buy my wife nail polish that just happens to be the same color as something I need to touch-up or paint.

I don't even know what that means... Like you got a sharpie mark on you? Permanent marker on a white board? What scenario is that lol

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Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is "gay" and "feminine"

Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn't gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it's the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.

Lmao literally "fellas, is it gay to love a woman?"

Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to "No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!" were very common.

Even if you take the "gay argument" out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?

Hella gay. You need to engage in naked Greco Roman wrestling with another man to wash that gay off.

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To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They're girly, weak and smell nice.

Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who's just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you, because you're a manly man who's made of tougher stuff.

Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay

enduring the pain of Big Jim's rod penetrating you,

Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?

You're not a true man until you sand it up.

Probably still less painful than figging.

figging

Ugh. Off to Urban Dictionary I go.

Edit: Inserting peeled ginger into the anus. Ok, I'd heard of this with horses, it's even mentioned in one of Sir Terry Pratchett's books. Id not heard of people doing it to themselves or each other but I'm not surprised."

Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.

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Sarah Silverman had a bit about how heterosexual love is... Kinda gay, by toxic masculinity standards.

You know what they say: There is nothing more manly than gay sex.

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I've been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I've had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.

These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.

They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were "disgusted" by these people.

They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.

But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.

Then the boss would come around the corner and you'd never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.

It's in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the "gayest" trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.

All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That's kinda gay dude.

The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.

To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.

I've walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That's still not as gay as watching "straight" acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.

Ick...

Ugh. Very relateable.

To give you an idea, I'm 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I'm not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.

Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It's so fucking tiring. I'm basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I'm not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It's like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can't listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.

They're so deeply insecure, it's fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who've had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They're at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they're better than someone else.

You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.

Holy shit yes, this whole thing right here.

The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the "notice me" mode that it's kinda 'dude... if you want guys to hit on you... you're going about it all wrong.'

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Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they're issuing out bed linens. We're all thrilled because we're getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because "they have flowers on them", then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.

He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.

The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.

I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.

Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I'm guessing this isn't the same.

My bad, I didn't realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)

What do they call those where you're from?

To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you're describing (we call that a "crib" in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.

In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven't ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.

I think that's called a camp bed.

So really, it presents as gayer than a regular bed and the whole endeavour was counterproductive.

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Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I've seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn't like that she was "telling him what to do." They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.

Bankruptcy is so alpha male

Was an old car salesman tactic to basically tell guys they weren't man enough to risk something they could barely afford.

I heard a motorcycle salesman tell a customer to call his wife and ask if he could have his balls back for a couple of hours so he'd be able to make a decision on his own.

Yep, that's what I'm talking about.

So funny how poorly this would go for me. I'd just tell the guy he's being a dingus and go to a neighboring town's dealer in hopes of finding someone less douchey.

Salesmen are pretty good at judging what works with which people. It's still really douchey and manipulative though.

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Still is. Attach emotion to a sales pitch and if the buyer is dumb enough to play into it, you'll sell every time.

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Weird, I know a couple who did exactly this about 13 months ago. They're divorced now. Unfortunately they spawned a child who will now have to deal with two parents who hate each other and can't stop fighting in front of them at every meeting.

All from some kind of weird macho trip fuelled by insecurity.

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I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was "not manly".

Which makes that quite literal Toxic Masculinity.

I worked one summer at the same factory as my dad. One day I was operating a cutting machine and my dad came by because I wasn't wearing any safety equipment. He suggested (not told) to wear the gear but I refused because no one else uses it. He said thats fine, it's my choice but he suggested I walk around the factory floor and count how many workers had all their fingers. I put on the safety equipment. Later on while having lunch with the two other guys in our area I noticed both were missing fingers.

I worked for less than a week at a cedar shake and shingles mill: it takes trees and cuts them into fat shingles.

I was promoted when the guy above me put the pneumatic splitter through his hand.

The guy above my new position near-missed with a band saw: it bit into his arm but only about a millimeter.

On day three a cut saw operator lost the last joint of three fingers.

I told the foreman I was leaving. He nodded in understanding.

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"Why are you in palliative?"

"Silicosis."

"Brah, that is so fkn chad!"

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People I used to work with refused to wear gloves and eye protection when handling fuel because "that's gay".

They all have alligator hands now.

I did not know fuel is bad for your hands. Though I only really might touch it while filling ny car up.

I don't imagine you have to worry about it. It's more of am issue for them because it was frequent excessive lengthy exposures. It wasn't helped by the fact that they didn't wash their hands a lot.

Occasional exposure isn't going to do much. Some people even use kerosene (diesel) can be used to wash some things off your hands. But you want to avoid it when possible.

Another reason I hate the EPA "safety" gas can nozzles. Because I've never felt more safe than when I'm covered in gasoline.

Generally, I'm all for things that limit emissions and improve safety. I always thought they were a PITA, but couldn't really be that much worse than the ones I see people use at the track usually.

I finally picked one up because it was all they had at the store, and holy shit those "safety tanks" are a nightmare by comparison. They spill so much fuel and after only a couple of years the seals on mine have gone bad and leak even more. I still would like to add a flame arrestor into the necks, but it amazes me at how awful they are.

I wholly understand why they exist and what all the safety features are for (preventing fuel from spilling if they're tipped/dropped, releasing fuel vapors, etc) but they seem utterly useless when I inevitably spill at least half a cup of fuel per 5 gal, just due to how poorly they're made.

Fuels are mostly hydrocarbons and those are hydrophobic and lipophilic. i.e they dissolve greasy/fatty things and your skin contains oils (which the fuel dissolves and thus strips out) and your cells are basically bags of water where the bag part (cell membrane) is made up of phospholipids (basically a type of fat) so that gets degraded too. None of that is good for your skin.

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The worst I have heard was when my husband's old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn't even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.

He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.

We live in Australia too, so it's not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.

How unsupportive. My dad at least took an hour off to drive mum to the hospital.

My wife was just telling me her coworker was bragging about that too, she told him no wonder they got divorced

When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn't let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?

He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.

Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe.... I can't reach my own back.

He was also too chickenshit to do that.

You should have suggested you put sunscreen on each other’s backs at the same time to get it over with quicker.

Good idea. Squirt some sunscreen on one back, then rub balls together until you're both covered.

Edit: I meant backs, not balls, but I'm leaving it.

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The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they're so tuff and manly and they "just won't crash".

I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.

This is my 4-year old's logic.

Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!

Him: But I am not falling! Look!

Me: 🤦‍♂️ No, not yet, but you might!

Him: But I'm not!

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤌🤌

Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I've ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they're living out some early 2000's Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.

One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would've otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it's not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.

Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked "why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls" and I'll never forget how they responded with "why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?"

Tbf that's not toxic masculinity usually, just stupidity. It's the same shit for men and women a like, and some idiots even teach their spawns to ride without one. But I guess you only buy helmet for the kids you want to keep...

If something I've learned from 15 years of bmx and MTB, is that there's no such a ride that doesn't warrant using a helmet; was it visiting shop, picking kid from daycare or a day ride

I disagree I would say most kids/teen's refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it's uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.

Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.

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It's not just stupidity, some people might just make different risk calculations than you. BMX and MTB is way different than visiting a shop.

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Yep that's the dumbest thing. I've gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn't wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.

Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider's comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it's manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?

I've never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I'd have put that thing on ASAP.

Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that's totally apart from the safety issue.)

and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds

I wear a full face helmet because holy shit I know one saved my face. But even if the helmet wasn't a separator from potential meat crayon situation, I'd still wear it for this reason right here. Seriously, I've had some beetles hit my helmet so hard it made me recoil, I can't imagine taking one straight to face like that.

meat crayon situation

Yikes, that painted a horrible mental picture. Stay safe out there y'all :/

I've had beetles on the forehead while road cycling. Even at 40km/h that seriously hurts. Wouldn't want it to happen at 100!

I tell anyone who asks that motorcycle helmets can prevent accidents. Your high delta-V beetle is the perfect example of why.

Only protect what you want to keep, as they say.

I can't see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun

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For me it's between refusing to use an umbrella because "it's gay" or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.

TIL: being a top is NOT gay 🥳

You joke, but going back to the ancient greeks that traditionally wasn't seen as 'gay' or feminine, no. A top is dominant, therefore more masculine. A bottom is submissive, therefore feminine.

Still a thing to this day.

I'll be honest, I'm glad I'm older, and less worried about that kind of shit and can just be me.

I think the roman had it a bit different : the minion or whore would be active while the guy was laying down. They even had suspended ropes or poles so the sex slave could use it to properly do its job.

I don't remember what was bad for them, except for big penis being very shameful because too beasty.

I find roman and Greek very funny, because although they were extremely misogynistic, they had it all reversed compared to us. :D

Yeah, like they thought the Gauls were effeminate because Gaulish men... wore trousers and drank too much.

A good portion of Hispanics believe this. The gay one is the bottom one.

I did very well when I visited Mexico for this reason. The amount of dudes just totally cool with topping was excessive. Guys who are, by their own cultural standards, completely straight hanging out of grindr. It was a glorious week.

Huh, like in ancient Rome. Nothing wrong with banging boys, but utterly shameful to be on the receiving end.

I’m alright with not holding an umbrella but I’d want a raincoat or something to keep me dry still.

But “fellas, is it gay to be dry?”

I refuse to use an umbrella myself, but mostly because I find them impractical and unnecessary. My skin and my earbuds are waterproof, plus where I live it usually rains sideways.

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Once worked with a guy who refused to wash dishes, said that is a woman's responsibility. He only uses paper plates and plastic utensils.

I never asked him if he cooked but kind of figure it'd the be same answer LOL.

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Basic hygiene.

cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)

He only "cleans" himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore.. and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.

Is the twice a year an exaggeration, or does he actually only shower every six months...?

Sadly, no exageration.

And yes, the smell is even worse than you can imagine.

Had the misfortune of entering his bedroom one day and his sheets were black (they were originally beige..), and stiff, and cracked when he sat on them.

Holy fucking shit. Does he have serious mental illness? I've never seen or heard of someone being even remotely like that and not have some form of mental illness. Dude needs some kind of therapy either way, goddamn.

Refusing to do normal human tasks to the point where it interferes with your ability to meet your life goals is sort of definitionally mental illness.

Nope, no mental illness.

Just grew up in a house where it was normalized and unshamed, apparently. Which is why the only thing that can make him "shower" is the doctor visit, under threat of not seeing the doctor/getting refills if he didnt.

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Had a dude in my division on a US submarine like this. Stupidly gross. Ended up having a medical order that basically made him shower every day under supervision from our doc to ensure he bathed. Imagine the dude you mentioned but enclosed in a metal tube under the ocean for months at a time.

Shower parties aren’t a thing anymore? In my days scumbags were assisted in their shower by a few larger shipmates and various brushes. It usually only took one to convince them to mind their smell in such cramped quarters.

Post 9/11 there were sweeping changes and a few high visibility hazing incidents that put a hard stop to that kind of bullshit. Not entirely a bad thing but I know what you mean.

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Knew a dude in high school that claimed he didn't masturbate because touching a dick, even his own, was gay.

We used to ask him how he aimed when he pissed.

He's actually pretty smart. If he touched it when he was under 16 he could've been arrested for child molestation.

Sat down to pee so he wouldn't have to touch it

The germans have a word for men who sit down to pee - sitzpinkler.

It also has the highest proportion of men who self-report sitting down to pee in Europe.

In the same vein I think men who don't sit down to pee at home because Its jot manly are just sad and probably don't clean their wc

At home, I'm sitting. Not just for the cleanliness, but also for the comfort.

I've always said that true power comes from having the ability to do something (pee while standing), but choosing when to use that power. Anyone who thinks that 'real men' only pee while standing have lost their power to choose.

I'm a big advocate for the sitzpinklers! Sometimes it just makes more sense.

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cuz it makes less of a mess, and is more comfortable. it's called the "toilet seat" for a reason.

When my husband and I started living together I actually told him that he had really bad aim and I don't like having to sit in his piss. And that if he insisted on standing while peeing out of some weird sense of manliness, then I would choose not to clean up the mess he leaves behind all the time, so let's see how fast it accumulates!

I especially don't get it in your own home. There aren't any other men around, so no need to act 'manly' and all it does is force you to clean it more often, which, come to think of it, probably also isn't 'manly' so what? Do they just not clean their own toilets? Ew.

Anyway, dirty toilet seats are a choice. Any time you're forced to use a toilet with piss all over it, it was someone's choice to not care about the next person using the toilet. Many people have accepted it as normal, "it's just what happens" - no, it is a choice. I still can't believe my mother accepted it all those years, tbh. :p

My husband also said it has extra advantages to sit, like being able to pet our cats. So there you have it. Oh and we've lived in Germany for a couple of years now, and I was not at all surprised they have a special word for it. Germans have words for everything.

I don't like sitting to pee but i also aim when i pee and I lift the lid and seat before hand and if i do make a splah on the rim then i grab some toilet paper and wipe it off

The problem is that about 90% of home toilets are not penis compatible and come with a significant risk of brushing up against the inner rim where even the cleanest toilets rarely get cleaned. If everyone could agree to install elongated toilets, I'll start sitting, but until then, I'll stand when faced with the standard compact round fellow.

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Guy I know won't wash his asshole when showering cause touching an asshole is gay, of course.

Meanwhile he'll moon me sometimes as a joke. People are strange

Knew a guy who wouldn't wipe his ass because he thought it was gay, he took a shower every time he shat at home and used the sprayer head to blast it off. There were brown flecks on his shower walls. If he had to shit while he was out, he would just marinate in his butt butter until he got home.

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My friend moved early this year to a new apartment and we gave him a very easy to care plant and some decor

When we visited him again about a month later he told us he didn't put the decor because it's gay (as in gay to decor, not the specific stuff we gave him) and the plant was dead because he put it in a closet because he brought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍

Edit: fixed lots of mistakes lol, don't write a comment before drinking coffee

the plant was death because he put it in a closet because he bought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍

Well, what if she mistakenly saw him as a dependable person who could provide care for the most basic of life forms?

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I think it's important to call most of these stories what they are. They're not toxic masculinity, they're homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.

Edited for clarity

Who are you responding to?

The thread in general. After reading a bunch of the stories, it occurred to me that they are all homophobic. Men engaging in certain behaviors, or avoiding behaviors and activities to avoid being perceived as gay are homophobic. You make a good point though, I edited my response to make it more clear.

I think it's very much related. Avoid being percieved as gay could be related to gender as well as the set of stereotypical behaviours that are associated with gays. And it could be both.

I think it's that doing something that's conceived as "feminine" being gay - say for example caring for your looks. I think the homophobia (and sexism) is an afterthought and the root is toxic masculinity

being attracted to a man is obviously a feminine trait. and we hate everything feminine, did i tell you i hate the woman i confessed my love to and have been married to for 30 years?

/s

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Yeah well let's be honest a lot of toxic masculinity traits are deeply rooted in homophobia and sexism...

You'd think someone obsessed with masculinity would realize there's nothing manlier than two dudes fucking.

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Walking around a rainbow cross walk . Also just not using a cross walk in general and taking more time trying to cross the road at a random location than just walking slightly down the road to cross the street even though that's the direction they where walking in the first place .

I'm the opposite... I forget the crosswalk exists, walk down the road 4 minutes, have to cross it and then as I wait I remember

"God damn it there was a crosswalk"

And IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME AGH

You should not have to backtrack nearly ten minutes to get to a crosswalk. That's just terrible urban design.

Also I don't know where you are, but in many US States every intersection is a legal crosswalk unless signed otherwise. It just may not be a marked crosswalk.

No no I just straight up skipped the intended crosswalk and went down a long stretch of road where practically no one even lives, to the cross for a bus stop.

The crosswalk is actually perfectly placed (I'm in Germany btw, we call em zebra stripes) and I'm just too idiotic and think only of switching sides once I'm way deep down the road.

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This one's specific one but I've seen guys permantly fuck up their feet by wearing cheap, thin-soled boots everyday or stand in jeans and a hoodie in -20° F for hours because buying good, quality clothes is seen as feminine.

They wear thin-soled boots and improper warm weather gear because they feel they have something to prove.

I wear them because I'm poor.

We are not the same. smug look of superiority

And I underdress (slightly! not that extreme!) for the weather because I've got enough body fat that it's more comfortable that way

...... I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also that.

I can be fine in a t-shirt and shorts while my skinny friends are in sweaters and fuzzy socks.

how do thin-soled boots fuck up your feet?

When your feet are out of shape and you stand around all day, it can put too much stress on the arch of the foot. Or other areas, even up your legs depending on posture, fitness, and what you're doing with your feet all day. Even just walking a lot can really suck if you have arthritis or simply allow (aka forced via work schedule) your feet to get overworked and on the down side of recovery.

To be fair, it's not ever the boot doing the fucking. It's just not helping your feet survive. Even basic arch support goes a looong ways towards staying comfortable for many people.

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Refusing to wear a sweater, jacket, hat, or gloves when it's bitterly cold out. They claimed that "real men endure the cold" and tried to say that wearing warm clothes to stay warm makes you "Womanly".

Nothing more manly than hypothermia and frostbite am I right guys? /s

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Wear a covid mask. Sounds simple, but the issue was everywhere. You could say it was history's most destructive example of toxic masculinity, especially when the protests kicked off and people were (and still do) denying any damage had been occurring due to that.

I made a big deal when it happened because I for one hate dress codes, yet dress codes were and still are somehow fine and something you're not allowed to argue against, all the while something that was actually practical as well as small was like peoples' kryptonite, so I remain in a lowkey boycott over dress codes if the business was apathetic to antiviral measures.

Is that really an example of toxic masculinity? A LOT of Karens shrieked about having to wear them.

For a lot of people it seemed that way. Seeing a protest of Canadian truck drivers who didn't want to wear the "face diapers" made it seem like they were acting on an outright masculine honor culture. It's something that softened my previous view that Canada was living under an unlucky streak of bad authority. Now I look at them and think "well no wonder".

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One time I heard a guy say he wasn't gonna push a shopping cart cause it was "f***y". Never understood that. He looked like a real doofus pulling it by the front.

Funny? Funky? Frisky? Feisty? Frosty? What mystery do you hide behind these asterisks?!

My guess would be "faggy".

Dude couldn't type it once and you ended up typing it twice. That's hilarious.

(And yes, I'm a card-carrying gay fag queer homosexual)

We have cards now?

Yes as soon as someone figures out their sexuality they have to apply for a government ID declaring their sexuality, it's like a driver's license but it's for sex. A sexuality license. That's where they formally declare their pronouns too.

I know, I know, but I really don't like to use that word even in context. It's the bad word for gay that also means bundle of sticks... y.

I really thought it was “fruity”. I guess it seems obvious in retrospect. Neither is great but, yeah, that one is worse…

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Being too ashamed to tell people I couldn't swim as a kid in situations that seriously could have ended in me drowning.

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Wouldn't use a straw in their drink because he didn't like the idea of it passing through his lips.

If someone sees you suck on a straw they'll assume you suck on cocks too.

Routine colonoscopy after hitting middle age

Tbh I think we all kinda suck at routine doctors appointments. Speaking as a woman

It just feels inconvenient to make time for it nowadays and it always gets delayed

Right, but there is a difference between me being a lazy antisocial person who hates talking on the phone to make an appointment, and being afraid to make an appointment because I'm worried I might like the feeling of something long and firm going in my ass.

no problem, if you're that worried about a routine colonoscopy turning you gay, congrats! you're definitely into cock!

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Saw a group of 14 year-old boys refuse to admit that it's harder to hold a pool cue out from your body if you hold it at one end than if you hold it in the middle (simple demonstration of leverage).

Did you apply a counterforce to embarrass their egos?

I was too gobsmacked by how ridiculous they were being to think of another proof!

Refusing to listen to "killer queen" because it was too gay.

No way this one is real lol

In fairness we were in high-school. So toxic masculinity was at its height.

Friend gave me the aux in his mustang. I still remember it because it was beyond idiotic of him.

My brother refused to listen to Whip It by Devo because he thought it was gay.

He associated to that scene in the Simpsons with Smithers dancing along to it in chaps.

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Someone couldn't ever admit that he was wrong to a woman, particularly not to a girl.

So I said, 'why did you buy the American sliced cheese, you hate all of the additives?' and he refused to believe that there were additives. I litterally pulled out the American cheese and read the ingredients list out, then compared it to our usual cheddar, which just listed milk, but he refused to admit that a teenage girl knew more than him.

My father once chose course of intravenous therapy over intramuscular injections because apparently exposing your butt to a nurse is not manly enough

I just tell them to get cheeky wit it. If they watch Brit TV they laugh. If not they grumble and do it anyway. If they are a very young and new employee they don't get it. If they totally get it I get statements I don't have comebacks for.

Someday said person gets a cath installed. Then what?

Refusing an umbrella. Ok, be wet then.

Not gonna lie, I just hate dealing with umbrellas. They suck most of the time. I love my rain jacket though

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Wait, I have clarifying questions.

Were you also in the rain?

Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?

Were you offering to share the umbrella?

I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.

If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.

If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.

If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.

So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.

Hahaha, I was in my car once, in a parking lot, and I saw this white-oakley-wearing baloon animal due running to his jacked up truck with his shoulders all hunched because it started raining. No one else was doing that LOL

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Not sure if this counts, but one guy I knew would boast about how he never drinks water. It was a matter of pride for him that he only drank soda. I know he was lying because I'd seen him drink water, but better not tell him that.

My female coworker doesnt like water guess its not just men, I tell her the migraines she gets is probably from dehydration but she says its not

Water is a gateway drug. 70% of alcoholics and 90% of heroin addicts used water before moving on to drugs and alcohol

That remembers me about this older video. It's in Romanian, but it says "stay away from water" and the images are from some sparkling water commercials presented as the consequences of anyone drinking water.

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For anyone thinking of only drinking soda, have fun with the constant headaches and hurting when you pee. Plus your pee is absolutely rank.

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Back in my country, bottled mineral water used to have a pink cap when it was non-carbonated, and blue cap for the carbonated one. I guess, I don't even have to finish the story, at this point everyone can imagine... But yeah, in primary school I had class mates who refused to drink the non-carbonated one, saying it's "gay water".

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I know some people that never wipe their ass because that's a gay thing. Well if being hetero means have a dirty ass and smell like shit, I think I rather be gay then.

I knew this would be mentioned. Dudes that don't wash their asses because it's gay.

You know what's not gay? Having sex with girls and that becomes really difficult when you're a nasty unwashed homophobe with a dirty ass.

I don't understand how this works. Like, not even in the shower?

I didn't get into the details as they would be pretty gross. So I have no idea

Wait what? I tought this never got beyond bad jokes

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When I was a teen I had a friend that wouldn't cross his legs because only women do it or something, but he was also too chicken to confront any adult that did it when we walked about.

So based on this thread, I have to conclude that the danger of traditional masculinity has been massively overreported.

The real answer is violence. Toxic males are too quick to react to the slightest perceived transgressions with overwhelming violence.

But this is social media and we are looking for funny answers.

I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub because I accidentally touched his hand when reaching for my drink. He started drunkenly yelling at me that I was some kind of homo for wanting to touch him. I told him it was an accident, and walked outside to have a cigarette. He followed me outside and tried to fight me. But, he was so drunk that I saw his punch coming a mile away and just stepped back a couple of inches. The momentum from his punch carried him all the way around in a circle and then he fell forward and smacked his head on a brick planter. The sound was awful. He knocked himself out cold, and blood was everywhere. I just went back inside while the bouncers tried to wake him up, and I never saw him again.

I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub

Greatest thing I've read all night.

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Good thing this thread isn't what the dangers of traditional masculinity are solely reported on.

This thread asked about the most absurd, not the most dangerous.

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