The pawns have revolted and formed an anarchist commune. What should I do in this position? (I'm white)

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyzmod to AnarchyChess@sopuli.xyz – 286 points –
50

Idk anything about chess strategy but I don’t see why saying your race is relevant to this

"What should I do (I'm white)" Literally shut up, nobody asked which race you are, in my eyes it's irrelevant. The fact that race influences chess so much is a symptom of inherent systemic racism in the world.

I totally agree even though I'm white myself

Show them the violence inherent in the system.

Ignore their reasonable critiques of your recent royal decisions and instead insist that you aren't backing down, even if the pawns are setting the chess board on fire and leaving the game. Start praising other kings to make yourself look good b by association.

I accused them of blackmail, called them 'noise' and 'landed gentry' and most of them came back. Thanks for the suggestion!

Hi Spez, my advice is to hold off for a while on that IPO.

Ok, but I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money.

Saved your comment, pure gold.

Pay some pawns money or other incentives to stay in place and not move forward. Then you can easily take care of the smaller portion of pawns that do get ahead. Plus you also sow discord among the pawns and divide them between sellouts and otherwise

-Promote bishop to king

-Send him to pawns

-Say that everything is his fault

Just hire some "counter-intelligence" chess-pieces to destroy their movement from the inside!

Import white pawns across from the other tables, arm them with shields and force move black pawns out on the north side.

I genuinely wonder if it's winnable for white.

I'm pretty sure the only victory condition in chess is to have the opponent's king checked, so I don't think white can win, unless black surrenders

Tell them the pawns on row 8 are the cause of all their problems.

@itszednotzee castle left, create a corridor to back rank for one rook via the a file.

Kill them all.

Then see if you can kill all the pawns before you're suddenly facing 6 queen's.