I see this as a parenting failure, honestly. You're not supposed to just let your kid watch whatever without supervision IMHO. If you can't control what your kids watch, don't give them iPads!
Covid has shown me that a lot of parents shouldn't be.
During the period that everybody was stuck at home there was a large amount of people that found out that they don't know, or want, to raise a child and couldn't wait to get them to schools or activities just to get rid of them.
My ex used to say "you can't be expected to give up your social life just because you have a child".
My kids and I are better off now.
"It takes a village to raise a child" is an old expression for a reason. Historically (EDIT: And today in most of the world), parents wouldn't take care of their kids 24/7. They would have parents, siblings, neighbours and friends to help share the load.
The idea that parents and parents alone do 100% of everything to raise a child is a very modern western thing.
We better adapt soon becuse the village is dead and it isn't coming back.
For the families who can afford it, daycare is the replacement.
Where I live it’s literally cheaper to lease an electric car than it is to put a kid 5 days per week in daycare.
Actually play groups and friend networks are pretty common now
And you get crucified by them if you bring it up.
I understand battling the pull of phones and tablets with kids is hard but you're lying to your self if you think it's going to work out ok if you give in, every other kid has one how bad could it go really?
This is a strange take. It's okay to be a parent that wants alone time, or time away from their kids. It's no different than wanting time alone from any family member. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it means you enjoy being with yourself and fulfilling your own wishes sometimes. I have a really hard time believing anyone who says they love to be around a toddler 24/7. It's just not humanly possible.
My solution to not wanting to be around a toddler 24/7 is to not make a toddler in the first place.
Cool. You clearly don't know what you're talking about then!
'I've never flown a helicopter but if I saw one in a tree I'd be like "you fucked up". that's not supposed to be up there—that's pilot error'.
-Steve Hofstetter
Bad metaphor tho
Yes, children are truly a mystery. And very complex.
No, but parenting can be pretty complex and there is a large degree of variability child to child. The idea that you either are a psychotic helicopter parent (because there is really no other interpretation to demanding a parent be around their toddler 24/7) or simply should not have children is a gross oversimplification and also, more importantly, fuckinh prima facie dumb as shit.
Yeah, keep them off YT and YT Kids. Jesus, the stupid brain melting human-made videos are worse enough as it is and kids love watching this shit over well-produced content. The only time I allow my kid to watch YT Kids is when I can watch too and it's on my phone. Recently she started watching a video with an anamorphic cat that was pregnant with a Zombie baby. Of course, YT is the one that offered her this content to watch anyway.
If you don't want to supervise what your kids watch, lock down their tablet or computer to only connect to streaming services you pay for. People are paid to produce this much higher quality content and then it is reviewed by people who know what should be acceptable for kids to watch. Compare this to some jackass on YouTube who can make the worst garbage imaginable, with or without the help of AI, and the YouTube algorithm is more than happy to shove it in your child's face. Which would you prefer your child to watch?
Recently she started watching a video with an anamorphic cat that was pregnant with a Zombie baby.
The... what?
Supervision? All the time? Found the guy without kids.
Sure sure, you make a point. But kids are 24 god damn 7 and occasionally I need to do things like chores and cooking. They get tablets so I can survive. I did remove YouTube, but their school didn't.
Weird how I managed to be a kid without tablets and my parents survived.
Weird how people didn't need two or more full time jobs to afford a family back then too.
My parents both worked
And look how that turned out.
If you want to sing wheels on the bus with your kids for that five hour car ride, more power to you. You're a stronger mind than I. My kids are getting tablets.
I think it worked perfectly. I have the perfect combination of self loathing and confidence to be a high earning professional who also believes that humans are wicked and should pursue our own extinction, so as to protect our non existent children from the inevitability of human suffering. Plus, my executive functioning is barely holding on even without early age screen time.
Also it leaves me lots of time to care for them as they age. Win win.
my executive functioning is barely holding on even without early age screen time.
I had a screen since I was 6 in the 80s. An apple 2e. It turns out that screens are great for calming autistic ADHD folks. It's why many of us end up in IT. But I'm guessing it's why my exec function isn't horrible. Imagine living screen free all day??
When I have kids I will allow them to go on the Internet, but I will teach them about where to find good content and stuff like that.
They will ultimately have to learn how to do this anyway, so its better to teach them early.
And I dont want to completely block their internet access because their classmates will have it too and it sucks to be the only one who doesnt, you just dont fit in quite as well and arent able to talk about stuff from the internet if you dont know anything about it. (I am speaking from experience)
When I was little, in such situations I was occupied either with toys or DVDs. The only difference my child would have is that DVDs would be replaced by hard drives with content I curate for them.
It's funny yeah everyone knows exactly how to raise kids until they have their own.
My parents were obsessive never letting us watch anything violent, the only way you'd tell the difference between me and my buddy that watched them all is I do a little worse than most at pop culture pub quiz rounds. I really don't think humans are as fragile as some people assume, playing on a tablet isn't going to melt anyone's brain.
I see this as a parenting failure, honestly. You're not supposed to just let your kid watch whatever without supervision IMHO. If you can't control what your kids watch, don't give them iPads!
Covid has shown me that a lot of parents shouldn't be. During the period that everybody was stuck at home there was a large amount of people that found out that they don't know, or want, to raise a child and couldn't wait to get them to schools or activities just to get rid of them.
My ex used to say "you can't be expected to give up your social life just because you have a child". My kids and I are better off now.
"It takes a village to raise a child" is an old expression for a reason. Historically (EDIT: And today in most of the world), parents wouldn't take care of their kids 24/7. They would have parents, siblings, neighbours and friends to help share the load.
The idea that parents and parents alone do 100% of everything to raise a child is a very modern western thing.
We better adapt soon becuse the village is dead and it isn't coming back.
For the families who can afford it, daycare is the replacement.
Where I live it’s literally cheaper to lease an electric car than it is to put a kid 5 days per week in daycare.
Actually play groups and friend networks are pretty common now
And you get crucified by them if you bring it up.
I understand battling the pull of phones and tablets with kids is hard but you're lying to your self if you think it's going to work out ok if you give in, every other kid has one how bad could it go really?
https://12ft.io/https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/03/teen-childhood-smartphone-use-mental-health-effects/677722/
This is a strange take. It's okay to be a parent that wants alone time, or time away from their kids. It's no different than wanting time alone from any family member. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it means you enjoy being with yourself and fulfilling your own wishes sometimes. I have a really hard time believing anyone who says they love to be around a toddler 24/7. It's just not humanly possible.
My solution to not wanting to be around a toddler 24/7 is to not make a toddler in the first place.
Cool. You clearly don't know what you're talking about then!
'I've never flown a helicopter but if I saw one in a tree I'd be like "you fucked up". that's not supposed to be up there—that's pilot error'.
-Steve Hofstetter
Bad metaphor tho
Yes, children are truly a mystery. And very complex.
No, but parenting can be pretty complex and there is a large degree of variability child to child. The idea that you either are a psychotic helicopter parent (because there is really no other interpretation to demanding a parent be around their toddler 24/7) or simply should not have children is a gross oversimplification and also, more importantly, fuckinh prima facie dumb as shit.
Yeah, keep them off YT and YT Kids. Jesus, the stupid brain melting human-made videos are worse enough as it is and kids love watching this shit over well-produced content. The only time I allow my kid to watch YT Kids is when I can watch too and it's on my phone. Recently she started watching a video with an anamorphic cat that was pregnant with a Zombie baby. Of course, YT is the one that offered her this content to watch anyway.
If you don't want to supervise what your kids watch, lock down their tablet or computer to only connect to streaming services you pay for. People are paid to produce this much higher quality content and then it is reviewed by people who know what should be acceptable for kids to watch. Compare this to some jackass on YouTube who can make the worst garbage imaginable, with or without the help of AI, and the YouTube algorithm is more than happy to shove it in your child's face. Which would you prefer your child to watch?
The... what?
Supervision? All the time? Found the guy without kids.
Sure sure, you make a point. But kids are 24 god damn 7 and occasionally I need to do things like chores and cooking. They get tablets so I can survive. I did remove YouTube, but their school didn't.
Weird how I managed to be a kid without tablets and my parents survived.
Weird how people didn't need two or more full time jobs to afford a family back then too.
My parents both worked
And look how that turned out.
If you want to sing wheels on the bus with your kids for that five hour car ride, more power to you. You're a stronger mind than I. My kids are getting tablets.
I think it worked perfectly. I have the perfect combination of self loathing and confidence to be a high earning professional who also believes that humans are wicked and should pursue our own extinction, so as to protect our non existent children from the inevitability of human suffering. Plus, my executive functioning is barely holding on even without early age screen time.
Also it leaves me lots of time to care for them as they age. Win win.
I had a screen since I was 6 in the 80s. An apple 2e. It turns out that screens are great for calming autistic ADHD folks. It's why many of us end up in IT. But I'm guessing it's why my exec function isn't horrible. Imagine living screen free all day??
When I have kids I will allow them to go on the Internet, but I will teach them about where to find good content and stuff like that.
They will ultimately have to learn how to do this anyway, so its better to teach them early.
And I dont want to completely block their internet access because their classmates will have it too and it sucks to be the only one who doesnt, you just dont fit in quite as well and arent able to talk about stuff from the internet if you dont know anything about it. (I am speaking from experience)
When I was little, in such situations I was occupied either with toys or DVDs. The only difference my child would have is that DVDs would be replaced by hard drives with content I curate for them.
It's funny yeah everyone knows exactly how to raise kids until they have their own.
My parents were obsessive never letting us watch anything violent, the only way you'd tell the difference between me and my buddy that watched them all is I do a little worse than most at pop culture pub quiz rounds. I really don't think humans are as fragile as some people assume, playing on a tablet isn't going to melt anyone's brain.
Before tablets, parents didn't survive.