What is the right way to get help with a Lemmy argument that has turned into harassment?
Had a small discussion with a good beehaw community member in one community, it got contentious but otherwise civil, and they have now taken to taking that discussion out in response to comments I've made in other posts and communities.
I would consider this a form of harassment, following me around Lemmy and having a argument seems to hurt the overall discussion in other posts and communities with anger and abuse.
How do I get help in this matter?
Thanks for bringing this to our attention. Sorry it took so long to deal with, this kind of harassment is absolutely not okay.
To anyone else out there, please report this behavior! Feel free to ping us on discord or matrix or make a thread if things aren't getting resolved or you want to talk about anyone's behavior.
If it's all in the same community then speak to a Mod.
If that doesn't work or it is spread across a number of communities then peak to Admins from your home server, Beehaw's and the other posters. If there's a post with obvious harassment, then report it and that report goes to those Admins.
Happy Lemmyversary!
Cheers - we've just celebrated the instances 1st birthday and I was surprised to see I was an early member.
Might just want to message Beehaw admins straight away, that person probably needs a suspension to cool off a bit or just an outright ban (I doubt this is the last time they'll do this. Might not be the first either for that matter)
Original contentious discussion:
https://discuss.online/post/8602161
Spillover Lemmy wide harassment:
https://beehaw.org/comment/3610108 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610091 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610083 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609890 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609886 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609883 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609876 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609871 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609859 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609857 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609852 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609806 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609815 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609812 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610125 https://beehaw.org/comment/3609759 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610221 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610232 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610257 https://beehaw.org/comment/3610259
Etc, etc
I'd say the same about being harassed on Linus tech tip posts
If you want to continue the discussion from the Linux tech tips thread, I'm happy to do so there.
If you want to have a discussion here about etiquette I'm happy to do so.
I'm not going to engage with you Lemmy wide, it hurts all of the other communities and discussion threads by having out of context anger thrown into them.
No, we don't just follow rules you lay out. Sorry. I asked very politely and explain myself repeatedly about how I want to be left alone to just simply say go away Linus and leave it at that. But no you had to keep coming at me over and over and over again. So here I am since this is what you wanted here I am.
"look at what you made me do"
Gaslighting 101 with Juno
Sounds like a good reason to block me
I've seen plenty of uplifting, positive, nice comments from you but your interactions with @jet are unbe(e)coming and I think disengaging is the better option here.
Where are those comments?
You really need to grow up man.
You clearly triggered a jerk. Just block them and their pathetic protest. Definitely someone I will keep blocked.
What happened? You don't want to talk anymore? I was asking to be left alone but you insisted on engaging with me in spite of me asking you not to. I thought you wanted to ask and ask and ask me why I don't like Linus and just keep it going forever.
This won't help your situation, but as a general rule, I don't engage in debate on Lemmy or anywhere else. In part to avoid these kinds of problems but also because I find that responders are rarely interested in considering my opinion in good faith, and are rather usually looking for a place to dump their own opinion. I admit to doing this myself. I think it's an inherent part of not-face-to-face communication. Similar phenomenon as with how the faceless ness of cars so easily induces road rage.
That's a really good point. You need a relationship to have empathy, anonymous empathy is really difficult to develop and maintain
I don't know about that, I've had many good arguments online and few face to face. In person people are generally going to put too much effort into avoiding conflict to fully or accurately express their possibly controversial thoughts. I think the tendency to talk past someone and take a very combative stance is mostly a culture issue rather than an anonymity one; bad arguments get praise and attention because people agree with it for tribalistic reasons, and treating the 'enemy' like people provokes criticism. People end up seeing argument as a vice, something you do purely as a way to vent, and not as a way of working through ideas and seeing new perspectives.
Looks like the dude was banned from his instance.
Yes. That makes me sad actually. They've been participating pretty well for a year, sorry to see a member lose their way.
I'm actually all for spirited debate, and I think Lemmy is richer when all the different voices are heard, including negative voices. But in the right place. A specific discussion thread for a negative idea, great we can hash it out there. Lemmy is better for it.
Totally agree, but that person was unhinged! They showed their qualities when someone disagreed with them. It’s best lemmy doesn’t have to deal with that anymore.
Block the creep in the mean time.
Holy shit this juno dude is a special kind of pathetic.
Whatever happen to the golden rule of the internet? "Don't feed the trolls".
Or whatever happened to people's ability to just... walk away? Harassment is terrible, but it's the internet. Unless the person is sitting in the same room looking over your shoulder to follow your every move, you can make a new account, block the person, just ignore them... all sorts of options.
The "oh no someone needs to fix my personal issue for me" trend is how we've gotten to where we are now.
I guess in this case it's that this behavior is really opposed to Beehaw's values.
Edit: they have been banned in the meantime, good job mods
The troll followed them around. I don't see how you can walk away when they are following you.
What do you mean by "where we are now"?
I interpreted "where we are now" to be:
"People get hung up on things that they could likely avoid by simply leaving the situation"
or rather
"Calling for a moderator after continuing to engage in something that makes you uncomfortable"
Note: I don't necessarily agree, just my interpretations of the meaning. Clearly, neither of these are quite suited to this particular circumstance, since there's a difference between leaving a conversation and being followed around.
The former, sure, I somewhat agree to an extent that community policing after a discussion is a little silly when realistically the same situation would have been avoided by just no longer engaging. For example, if you are walking down the street and see a crazy person engaging with every single person in front of you that passes by. You have the option to walk by them and ignore them, to walk a different direction to pass them, or to engage with them by talking right back.
On the internet, people choose the third option because it's "safe". In real life, most people walk by and ignore or go a different way. For both situations, potential aggravation could have been avoided by simply not engaging, thus, "Don't feed the trolls".
However as mentioned, that's just not the case when someone is following you around. Per the previous example, that's when you call for moderator support, or the police/public service to deescalate and further prevent the action from happening to others.
I don't think "Don't feed the trolls" [alone] is a solution on a public internet forum with changing people. New trolls will come anyway. Some people will always sometimes engage. And if the trolls continue, even without responses, it sets a mood in discussions and threads that influences people whether they engage or not.
That is my biggest concern, drive by hate has a chilling effect. Most people don't want to jump into a contentious conversation.
Just a general rule that I always personally follow; Block first, ask later.
This isn't to say that bringing the harassment to the attention of the mods is a bad thing to do; but it does prevent me from seeing/feeding a possible troll or misanthrope their daily dribble of causing misery.
To echo Gaywallet; "Do report this behavior!"; especially if someone is making it a point to follow you around and harass you in other threads; which is totally not okay on any well regulated or moderator maintained instance.