There's more evidence supporting Biden not stealing the 2020 election than there is JD Vance not having a sexual encounter with a couch.

formergijoe@lemmy.world to Showerthoughts@lemmy.world – 383 points –
17

Well there were repeated, detailed investigations into the election to gather that evidence.

We just need to give the same amount of scrutiny to the question of whether JD Vance fucks couches. Let's get a senate subcommittee and stuff.

Let's lube up a leather couch, put it under a crate propped up with a stick in his Senate office, and once we catch him, see if the trap is filled with little Ottoman Vances.

yeah but the problem is the red team continued to push dangerous rhetoric to the point that people still don't believe the election was legitimate.

I cannot believe organizations like that are allowed to push blatantly false information that harm everyday people and this nation.

wait, am i an everyday perspn?

are you an everyday person?

what is an everyday person?

Okay I feel like I'd be more sympathetic if I knew what kind of couch it is. If it was something like a hideous faux-suede Ashley's sectional, straight to the gas chambers, but if I'm supposed to be shaming this man for a little d’homme à Canapé leather lovin' with an original chrome-spec Le Corbusier, then I won't take part in your witch hunt.

No offense but I’d rather stick my dick in a twelve thousand dollar escort instead of a twelve thousand dollar couch.

I heard that he shamed and belittled the couch for not getting pregnant, and said if he ever had the power, he would revoke its right to vote