Learning habits

Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com to ADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com – 296 points –
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This is missing step 5 - a few months later I forget that I have a habit and have to start over from scratch

Every. Single. Time.

If you have to remember to do it it's not a habit. Or at least that's my understanding of habits.

Yeah that's what I'm talking about.

I have habits that I don't have to think about and then one day they're just gone and I have to start over. Usually it happens by having a sudden realization that the thing I did for months without thinking about it has not been done for several weeks. Then to rebuild that habit I have to start over again.

Makes sense. I never had any habits besides getting various forms of entertainment on the internet so I can't relate. I always have to make an active effort to do something and then at some point (usually days, a few weeks is my absolute maximum) my brain refuses to even do the bare minimum to make me do stuff.

Same, like once my brain forgets it's supposed to be a habit it's just gone. It sucks.

I'm still working on getting myself to do the same thing every day for a week, forget about 3 months.

You have to remember to do it, but you don't always have to actively try to do so

It may take 3 months to learn a new habit but I take only one week to unlearn it afterwards.

One of my favorite pieces of advice from this video regarding ADHD productivity is to "embrace the pivot" (15 minutes in but I recommend watching the whole thing). Every positive change you make is going to have a shelf life, and instead of trying to go against the grain it is easier to recognize when it's no longer working and pivot to something else.

This is what I've just now started trying. I'll let you know how it goes in a few months lol.

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Oh, you skipped working out for 2 days? Good luck getting started on that again.

This is my fitness downfall. I have a cyclical problem that involves immense pain and fatigue (i have a uterus that hates me) and each time I get into working out, the organ renders me temporarily useless. Getting back into a work out regime after its over seems impossible (though I keep trying) This has happened about once ot twice per year for as long as I can remember (starting to work out and then failing due to the thing)

At least you're trying! Some effort is better than nothing. I've found that even if I can't go though a whole routine at least doing part of it will get me back in the habit. I have a shortened workout regiment for that purpose. Or if I'm really unable to focus I do handstand progression excercises.

And I'm willing to bet at least one doctor has told you the uterus thing would get better if you got fit and lost weight, ignoring the fact that it makes getting fit so much harder to achieve. (also the fact that being fit doesn't really help much, you just have bigger muscles to ache) But also they won't just yeet the uterus because what if some future man want to have babies with you.

I'm not overweight, the problem is my insurance has been changing a lot since Covid. I had finally got a referral then lost that insurance. Had shitty insurance for a while where the doctor I was assigned to literally backed out of the door a few minutes into the appointment. I rescheduled with a different doctor but because of how long it takes to get a new patient appointment I moved before I could get in. Then I had to wait for my new ins to kick in, then to get in for an appointment -but by then I had had Covid and my heart was giving me a bit of trouble (nothing serious). My doc at that visit only wanted to focus on that. In between I was trying to IVF and had several ultrasounds done (I did get in again for a pap with my regular doc -faster than waiting for a gyno- but she wanted to wait for the result of that and the ultrasound before giving me a refferal). Then the IVF place lagged (forgot maybe?) To get the ultrasound info to them. (The IVF failed). I had to contact her to confirm that she didn't get it, and then had to contact them again to send it. Been waiting since...only to find out my doctor is moving to Hawaii. So. Starting from scratch.

Oh honey! I hope you break through that insurance wall, and successfully get off the emotional rollercoaster that is IVF and all that assorted misery. May your uterus decide to give you a fucking break, let you conceive, and cradle a healthy full term pregnancy.

(Btw, I didn't mean to imply you were overweight, it just something doctors tell a lot of women rather than assess their actual health problems.)

I dont know why you got downvoted (and I don't mind that you thought I could be over weight. I have a friend with PCOS and she's had all kinds of issues because of it- weight issues included)

Thank you for the well wishes :)

I was doing good for months walking at least every other day.

Then I had some things thst came up causing a ton of stress and I just couldn't. And here is sit, months later and I've barely touched my treadmill since.

Yeah stress can definitely mess you up. I've basically just gone home and crashed every day this week because work is crazy. Gonna just let myself go this weekend and get wasted then get back on the horse next week.

So my niece lives with me; she was not used to showering more than once a week. Yea... she stank and I refuse to share space with nasty BO. So I started making her shower at least every other day. It's taken over 6 months but she finally knows which days she needs to shower without me having to remind her. The first 5 months were hell though. I do suspect she has ADHD.

If only I could get her older brother to do the same. He shares a room with his father who barely showers as well, so I think that's a battle I'd lose unfortunately. And yes, they stink. Horribly. But at least I've saved my niece from being bullied (which happened in the past before they lived with me).

3 months later you need to change your habit because the season has changed and wool lines sweatpants are too hot to wear.

This is why the tropics are where you should live.

I’m in Germany and I’ve been sick all summer from the heat. The tropics would actually kill me.

I realised like a year ago that I get up better if I set an alarm for a 7 hour sleep. I usually wake up before the alarm somehow and if I manage to get up, I won't feel tired the entire day. Did that for a year, then I just forgot and for an entire month I was irritated why my sleep sucked so bad...