"Also, try our new deep dish special."

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 351 points –
26

and then he blamed Obama

And then said the n-word in a board meeting anout how he needs to stop saying the n-word.

Then to show how not mad he was about being fired from his pizza chain, he ate 40 pizzas from there in a month.

Yeah, but then he died at the age of 62. I guess pizza and hate isn't enough to keep you alive into old age.

You sent me down a rabbit hole.

He ded?

Me too. I thought 'good news for a change', but can't find anything except him still being butthurt for getting recorded using the n word.

If you really want to go down a rabbit hole, go look at the top posts in the old HermanCainAward subreddit. It was so dark, but I will shamefully admit that I used to binge that shit like it was crack cocaine.

Oh wait, maybe not. Who am I thinking of?

Billy Mays?

No, some asshole Republican pizza guy.

I just want to stop and appreciate for a moment that there was more than one asshole Republican pizza guy.

Honestly, I'm guessing virtually every giant pizza company president/founder is an asshole Republican.

the former Domino's guy who ran for president?

I was thinking of Herman Cain, who ran Chicago's Pizza before failing to win the presidency and dying of COVID.

That smile ad is still one the weirdest campaign ads I've ever seen

I worked at Papa John's once upon a time. That's just the general vibe. Wasn't all bad. Free pizza if you didn't get too greedy and the manager would sometimes snort pills with you off the back of the toilet when it was slow

See, this is what we should be using AI for. Auto generating dark text and slapping it as quotes on marketing images.

Give me more absurdist and non sequiteur humor, robot slave!

Is this quote from a known author of has someone just made it up? Cause it's cool af