If your toilet was sentient, would you rather that it begged *for* your poop, or that it begged you to *not* poop in it?

z00s@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 46 points –
29

I would poop in a different toilet

But then how do you poop if no one is begging? Uhh, asking for a friend.

if you can do something in your every day life to make someone happy, who cares if itโ€™s weird? live life; weโ€™re all weird; just make people happy and be happy in return

Would it lick me clean or would I still have to wipe myself?

Neither. I want it to be honored to accept my waste and happy to serve.

"Well, it's a living!"

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See, this is why I hate "would you rather...?"

Why can't it just be content with the amount I feed it, why's it have to be starving to the degree that it begs?

I'm pretty sure I answered this on Reddit once. Begged for it, assuming I have to use such a toilet and cannot just go back to a pit latrine (I've heard great things about tiger worms). Answering the other way would be cruel.

I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.

"Why do you always take so long in the bathroom?"

"I have to argue with the toilet about conservation of mass."