When and how did you find your way out of survival mode (altogether or in-part)?

cheese_greater@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 81 points –

For an example: I had an issue with always being in a food-scarce state, where I basically needed to hit the grocery store everyday buying overpriced under-portioned stuff and spending a fortune to have basically nothing in the cupboards and fridge or being depressed I had no supplies and just ordering food.

I broke down and decided I needed to get and start using my Costco membership and that I could have whatever I wanted as long as I put every item down in a spreadsheet type doc and came up with a rough estimate for how many of each I needed each month and factored tax i to the multiplyer so I could adjust and always have the total cost for everything that would be my groceries.

But I took it even further and now every subscription, bill, discretionary and vices, and more expensive longer-term items all get roughly budgeted for based on their lifecycle. So an annual subscription I anticipate keeping gets saved for out of each paycheck, something that lasts 2 months gets amortized over 4 paychecks generally.

Everything is overbudgeted and real liberal so even if I don't have that expense that month or ever and its out of date, I still end up benefitting by saving for it and now I anticipate slowly transitioning all my monthly subs I cant yet afford annual and paying more for towards once a year with a discount and it not littering my records with the need for monthly entries.

Now all my accounts except savings $0 out at the end exactly each month so it will be immediately obvious what the surplus is and what I am able to save, and also leverage that towards further optimizations as the opportunity arises.

Its like a complete paradigm shift for me and I think I've stumbled on to my new groove haha. Its also forced me to be realistic and realize I can't save money when I'm not planning for the actual human needs and factors involved. Savings cannot be an the expense of my physical and material well-being, I will not tolerate that long term without sabatoging myself

[Knock-on benefits]

  • budget for expensive bag of catfood per month and cat litter but won't go through nearly that much so that can become an adhoc cat medical insurance/vet visit/medical and supply fund + my emergency medical fund 😅
  • can subtly tweak the quantities to allow accumulation of supplies without severe effect or detriment of the general budget. It will almost certainly be covered by other items not requiring replenishment
  • since larger over-time expenses rarely overlap, can use the savings to apply to pressing needs or unexpected emergencies without ever really having an impact since they will have been covered several times over by redundancies created by savings for other expenses that are similarly ongoing
29

Moved to Europe

Same for me but to the US. I come from a third world country though, so any first world country was a step up. Also worth noting that I had a job waiting for me, so I was privileged in that aspect.

Where in europe

I moved to Germany, which is also nice, but with an easier language for English speakers to learn (not super easy to master, but it’s pretty closely related and getting a good grasp on day to day conversations is relatively simple).

Same, but I came from actual hardcore mode of Australia.

Just don't be that American who says "Gee everything's so cheap!" and pays over the odds and causes inflation for the rest of us. Thanks.

Get this book.

"Discover What You Are Best At" by Linda Gail. It's a series of self tests you can do in half a day, and a list of jobs that use those skills. Fro example, product demonstrator and nurse and hair stylist all need good dexterity and good people skills; three totally different jobs with a similar skill set. The book also has a list of jobs for each skill set, including education requirements.

Second, start applying for civil service jobs. In most of the US a civil service job has a good union and good benefits

Not everyone knows what they're good at.

No matter how many self-tests I took, I would never have picked the job I have now that actually fits me well. As much as I tried to keep it objective and think about my experiences with the work I've done, I would consistently pick something that I thought other people would like to see me do, or something that seems easy.

Turns out I really enjoy a job that I need a lot of training and practice to be good at, and that others often dismiss as basic work.

Idk what kind of person can figure out their own strengths just by thinking about it, and what makes them different from me. I just wanted to point out that self-tests aren't always the golden key to launch you into your highest potential. For me, it took the insight of other people who have been with me for years to help me put together what I couldn't see in myself.

Edited for clarity and to add about the insight of others

Did you actually look at the book I wrote about?

Is it significantly different from any of the other books that rely on self-tests to help the reader pick out a career to pursue?

I haven't made a vast study. On the other hand this book has been in print for over 30 years.

moved abroad, found out things in most countries are a fraction of what they cost in the states for the same or better quality.

I consistently learn new things in new cultures while living well within my means and saving money.

Co-op mode helps a lot to get started. As I leveled up things got easier.

Haven't gotten there every work day I am mentally exhausted 😩

My co-workers and I are feeling that this school year. Realizing that it has much more to do with the poor attitudes and failures of leadership than the actual job.

Earning more than I spent. It's really not a complex science. In fact this whole question reminds me of the weight-loss debate.

For context, I've been working for a couple of decades, never been highly paid, rarely even worked full time, and it's been at least 15 years since I had the slightest money issue.

The critical variable is self-discipline. I know this is not a popular opinion. I also understand that there are societal factors that feed into all this, and that questions of virtue and vice are basically irrelevant. But it's true nonetheless. We do not live in a society of material scarcity. If you have an income, basically any income, and you can find a way to control your needs, then you will quickly escape survival mode.

Self-discipline is not the issue. "Just use some of your extra money differently" already means you're dealing with a person who doesn't have those issues.

If you are white and privileged enough to be on lemmy, sure.

So many privileged people get into financial trouble due to ignorance or lack of discipline. Seen it, done it myself, and recovered.

But poverty is real for many people who don't have the same advantages. I can't victim blame people for their own poverty.

I think its most important to ensure you have what you need and plan for that intelligently. Like I said, I can have basically what I want I just need to budget it in and take out all the survival mode shenanigans where I wing it and wheel and deal to the effect I'm spending on nothing because there's no trail laid out for me to follow. I'm eating less and less crap now that I have this sorted out and I'm projecting lots of easy little surpluses I can store away sustainably as I go forward

I was feeling stressed by everything all the time (i was out of capacity) so i broke up with my gf (who contributed) which freed up some capacity and i was able to cope again. Also a bonus of no longer slowly gaining weight and feeling like shit.

Wish things could have been different, though. Perhaps in another life.

But now you know what you want and don't. Some people never get that far, you've escaped the Matrix in terms of that aspect 😁

Lest we forget/succumb

This is the correct way to manage a budget.

The budget software I use ("you need a budget") follows a similar philosophy; based on the way you describe you financial circumstances, paying for that software is probably not in your budget, but I suspect you will find the "rules"/method/philosophy described on their website helpful.

I would say costco is a waste but the yearly cost amoritized over one chicke a week still makes the chicken pretty cheap. its like the ultimate loss leader.

Its made everything possible haha. I would be starving and broke without Costco. Its the key to my non-middle class middle class lifestyle