what is your idea of a ideal first date?

wantedthefirstaccount@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 34 points –
30

That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th, because it's not too hot, and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

Definitely not a movie night, you don't get much of a chance to really know the other person from that, and if either one of you decides that the other is crazy it makes it a little harder to dip out.

Ideally something simple that's good for getting to know the other person while being able to leave at any time. Coffee, shaved ice, frozen yogurt, etc. Then a walk through a park or along a beach, or just sit down/people watch, and discuss your interests to see if either of you are interested in a second date.

I don't often date people I don't know at all these days, I'm more into finding people through networks of friends and IRL social activities. So a good first date for me relates to a thing we've got in common that led to good vibes to start with.

Met through the friend group that goes to film festivals together and nerds out on cheesy horror flicks? Movie night is a good first date. That's not going to be as good a date with the person I met through a sports club who to my knowledge isn't particularly into movies.

I don't care for formal dates in early days. Dress up, go to dinner, no break from conversation; I find it to be high pressure.

I'm married now, but I was always a fan of the cheesy stuff, like going bowling or mini golfing. Some of my more memorable dates were extremely simple, like sitting in a car with the seats laid back listening to music and just talking

Married as well.. I still try to date my wife. But yeah it's the simple (and often cheap) things received the best. A picnic to add to the list

Impromptu joining me on something I was already doing

That's how my boyfriend and I had our first date. He tried to plan a date a few times but I was busy/flaky. One day he messaged me saying he was nearby at a bar with some friends and asked if I wanted to stop by for a drink. And here we are a year later.

Art gallery followed by some lunch, then visit a record store.

This way you get to know the person's tastes in art and you can judge if you're compatible. If they don't like the art you like it's probably not a good fit. If they pick up a Taylor Swift album I know it's not gonna work.

I think a person's taste in art is a very good indicator. And if they're not really into art or music then they're not a good match

I would say going out for lunch somewhere nice. It's a common activity that can go on for as long as you need, whether that be a long time or a short one. You get to talk to one another, and the focus can just be on you and your meals.

The second date would be home cooking and a terrible movie. Like, Birdemic levels of bad. Something we can watch and have fun with, but can talk over it or start doing other stuff without missing anything good.

I liked inviting people for a walk around Oakland Lake Merritt. Takes about an hour and the scenery is constantly changing, creating opportunities for conversation.

Dog date. I've had good luck with those, and it kind of takes off the pressure.

I like a movie (or a show or whatever) and dinner/drinks after, because then you by default have something to talk about.

Really? I'd consider a movie like 2nd or 3rd date material, but I guess if you're having an event after it would make sense.

It may help that I've never really "cold" dated. Every "first date" I've ever been on was with someone whom I was already at least decently friendly, so usually it's more like I found a movie or event or whatever that we were both interested in. It had not occurred to me that sitting in a dark theater with someone you weren't terribly familiar with could be something that needed vetting, but upon reflection I can see where that may cause problems. My naive ass just likes movies.

I like smaller art museums. They're full of things to chat about, usually have some ways to bring out some red flags if they're there, and it's usually quiet enough to have a conversation.

Tbh. just breaking the ice quickly and having fun afterwards, and getting to know the person in the process

  • someone clog the toilet
  • someone fix the toilet
  • see if you can decide what to have for dinner
  • someone do the dishes
  • see if you can decide what to watch on tv

if you can make it through all of that and still want to spend time together, it might work out

Coffee of 1 hour max, first date it's only to know if both are compatible nothing else.

I really don't know. I've never dated in my life.