Okay, two issues here...

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 351 points –
29

3 issues

  1. Not standing
  2. There are 5 of them
  3. Which Jesus?

#3 is clear. When Jesus enters the room, you get the fuck up.

Later that morning, Puke noticed that Allin still lay motionless in the same place where he had left him and posed for Polaroids with the corpse before calling for an ambulance.

Jesus Christ!

This reminds me of a joke:

Why didn't Jesus play basketball? Because soccer is a much more popular sport in Mexico.

Not only does Jesus play basketball, he's a super dick about it:

Standing optional.

I think that's somewhere in Luke.

Plot twist: That’s not all that’s in Luke.

I don't know about Luke, but this is in Matthew (15:11)-

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

So swallow, don't spit.

The guy in the middle can't tie his tie correctly. You don't leave it hanging on the side like that. I don't trust guys like that.

They say that they will stand for Jesus, not that they're currently standing for Jesus.

It's always what they will do tomorrow and never what can be done today, amiright?

Ok I think I've got it.

Jesus is like Voltron, the 3 dudes in the middle combine to form him.
And the 2 on the ends are the spiritual equivalent of two men each, which is why all the parts of Jesus are hanging out with them.

Of shit what if it's like Captain planet, and if they all stand up at the same time it'll summon Jesus?
They're not allowed standing because they don't want to trigger the rapture!

There is a lot of moustache going on there.

Two grinners, three sinners. Nothing odd there at all