The four horsemen of the dogpocalypse.

🩸Bloodmouth🩸@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 435 points –
49

I grew up with blue ketchup on the shelves at the market. There are bagels that come in rainbow color. Ever heard of Lester's Fixins? They'll sell you soda thar tastes of buffalo wings. I come from a reality where nothing is off the table.

And then some joker comes along and makes up fake shit that doesn't even raise my eyebrows... I believed this was real with no reservations. How's that supposed to make me feel?

Thank you so much, I felt like I was being made fun of for a minute there.

You come across like Morty after a couple of seasons of adventures with Rick, just used to/not surprised by the unfamiliar shit that's out there. Like, apathetic to it. I'm honestly in awe of your go with the flow attitude. Also, green ketchup is far superior to blue.

It's a problem. I've consumed so much Dan Harmon content that his writing voice has crept in. At this point I'm what you get if Jeff Winger didn't work out or do speeches.

And that's the winger garuntee

This is why Americans are the only people not allowed to make fun of British food.

There's British food now?

British TV leads me to believe their diet is entirely doner kebobs, indian food, fried fish, and the most expertly crafted baked goods an oven in a tent can produce.

Since food is just what you eat, anything can be food even though it is utterly disgusting

"Look your honor. The human body is just food. I should not be found guilty for eating someone unless you know wink wink nudge nudge".

I counter with American Chili, Barbeque, and Corn Bread. I would give you Maryland Crab but I'm busy eating it.

MD crabs are soooooo good. I've eaten a dozen every Friday all summer.

Right? I moved away a while ago but now every time I'm back I'm getting crab.

The Freedom Frank is War, Hallowiener is Death, Mtn Dew is Pestilence and Baja Blast is Famine.

It'd be so easy to make veg dogs look like this. Literally just put different veg in it, boom, different colors.

But no, gotta dye the tube of pig buttholes.

They don't actually use pig assholes in hot dogs.

They use the chuckle.

That Baja Blast one provoked a physical gag reflex in me.

So original flavor dew dogs are ok?

I think it's physiological response to that teal color in food. There are lots of green foods that are ok to eat, so the immediate revulsion wasn't as strong.

But yeah, that Baja Blast teal is something you only see in nature on mold.

Have you tried Sweet Lightning? It's a KFC exclusive flavor that hasn't escaped containment the way Baja Blast escaped Tace Bell.

I have not, but I can't remember the last time I was in a KFC. Is it any good?

I like it, but I like most Mtn. Dew flavors.

Definitely inspired by peach tea, if that helps.

It's kind of nice that they have stopped trying to hide the fact that this is an atrocity against animals and are just leaning into it. I guess.

Switch the top two, and get a fairly accurate political compass.

We all know what to do with a blue wiener!

Need some purple or green ketchup to go on those.

I thought the awful Disney I was watching with my niece was the worst thing ever until I saw this. I guess my phone is a bad distraction. 😢

I wonder if over consumption of dew dogs make yer teeth fall out. Yee haw!!