Astronomers Found Something Cold and Wet Near Uranus

return2ozma@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 298 points –
Astronomers Found Something Cold and Wet Near Uranus
gizmodo.com
42

I'm not a 12 yo boy, I'm not a 12 yo boy, I'm not a 12 yo boy

Don't worry, the scientific community is working on getting it renamed to solve exactly this problem.

It's going to be called "urectum".

I'm a genuine proponent of renaming Uranus to "Caelus." It's the only planet (save earth) not named for a Roman god. It's named for a Greek god, and completely breaks the naming convention. Funny word play aside, I'd like to see it renamed Caelus.

Caelus would fit perfectly in our solar system.

Right? Such a cool name! I also would not mind if they renamed earth to Terra, though, to keep the trend. But if we keep Uranus, we should make earth Gaia, so Uranus won't be so lonely as the only Greek in the solar system.

I may, may, be anthropomorphizing our planets a bit

I mean since it's 71% covered in water, how about Poseidia?

Hey don't talk about Uranus like that.

Uranus is good enough, smart enough, and goshdarnit, people like Uranus.

Relax friend. You are safe. That was a long time ago and Father McCoy is not around anymore.

Wet, I can understand. But cold?

Ever driven 45 minutes home after bottoming? It get pretty cold before you get to a shower

Things I never realized being a straight man

Let me help every woman you'll sleep with going forward, then. Don't just jizz on the bed when you pull out. It also gets cold, but now it's where you need to sleep. Lol.

Also don't get it in their hair, it's a bitch to get out if it dries. Invest in a daily glass of pineapple juice, though, and you probably won't have to worry about it where to end. They won't mind swallowing so much

Lmao. I'm an old man with a kid and a committed GF. We always have something to take care of it. But thanks for the PSA.

Why would you not just shower afterwards?

Not always an option. What if you've just been fucked in a field? There's no shower. Or more likely, the handicap stall at a Walmart halfway between your houses because neither of you can host, and you live 2 hours apart

It is pretty close to where the sun doesn't shine.

And that’s to say nothing of Uranus’ moons, of which there are nearly 30.

Damn. Surprised that many can last that long and not destroy each other.

The gas Giants are huge, like really really huge. Jupiter and Saturn have more than that. The rings from Saturn are probably from moons, but not necessarily colliding, but getting close enough to the planet to reach the Roche Limit.

thats very poor choice of words

there was a poll among astronomers whether they should rename uranus, and they almost unanimously decided to keep it that way because it got funding just due to giggles.

In Futurama, they renamed it to Urectum :)