How untreated ADHD can trap you in depression

ickplant@lemmy.world to ADHD@lemmy.world – 1035 points –
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And building yourself back out of depression once treatment starts isn't an overnight thing

I was diagnosed like 3 months ago at 29

It's a night and day difference but it's still a bit rough at times

But I'm working on it and now that I'm able to stay focused on a task it's easier than before, but it's not easy

If you don’t mind me asking, as a stranger, did you start meds? My partner was recently diagnosed at 28, and started meds, but I’m not sure how well they’re working.

I did start meds but I've noticed that the key factor in how well they work is how I spend the first hour of my day.

If I open YouTube or social media the day is a wash.

If I start the day making breakfast listening to music with the idea of doing things that day, it goes great.

One thing that really helps me go with the second option is having a tab already open from the day before that has a playlist I can just start. And it's the only one open.

I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD so my experience may be different than someone diagnosed with Hyperactive ADHD.

Also be sure that they're doing more than just meds, education about various ways of managing ADHD in conjunction with meds will lead to far better outcomes than those things separately.

Or maybe the meds don't work for them and they need to try something different. One of my friends tried 3 different meds before they landed on one that worked.

Do I have untreated ADHD? I hate this.

You are voluntarily here and finding common ground with an ADHD meme. If you've felt like there's something different about you and have been waiting for a Sign, this is it.

Just keep an open mind, since a lot of different things can cause ADHD like symptoms. "I actually don't have ADHD" is also important information, and a good psychiatrist or therapist can help guide you to wherever the truth lies.

I've had a feeling that I might have it for a while but idk what to do. It seems like there's probably not a sureshot way to know I have it? And if I don't, it'll always feel like an excuse to other people.

Talk to your doctor and/or psychiatrist and they can't test and diagnose. Even being diagnosed, I still often feel like I'm just making excuses when something stems from my ADHD, but it's important to remember that it's not fair to yourself to downplay your own challenges. Acknowledging the challenges you face, and their affects on your life is not making excuses. It's being honest with yourself about what you experience.

What happens after a diagnosis though?

Hopefully treatment :) That can include therapy sessions, and also trying out different medications and if they help

Also I have one question. I've always done reasonably well on exams by cramming on the last day (more like last night) when the pressure is extreme. That doesn't take away from the fact that I could have it right? Like I'm good at cramming something under pressure and vomiting it out the next day, but am also awful at something that would require regular periodic studying.

I'm no doctor, but what you're describing would be consistent with ADHD.

Thanks. I'll mention that when I talk to the doctor.

Sorry for the late reply, but as the other commentor pointed out, what you described is incredibly consistent with ADHD. There is a reason we are prone to procrastination! Definitely talk to your doctor or psych about what you experience.

Thanks. I hope it goes well. I don't see my mom being thrilled if it comes down to needing medication.

This is literally the diagnostic criteria: https://add.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adhd-questionnaire-ASRS111.pdf

Have a go and see if the questions resonate

Thank you so much for that link.
A lot of these questions hit close to my own experiences. I should really get something done about this.

OOF

I was wondering why all these memes were attacking me so much...

They really do resonate....Maybe not all but quite a few.

Autistic and ADHD, meds helped but the side effects were awful for me, so I'm just a mess.

For sure. I was diagnosed at age 7or8 took meds till my 16 but stopped. I am 28 now and learned to live with it. The meds aren’t a cure all solution. I didn’t feel myself when taking them and i tried a bunch. It doesn’t sit right rather be myself and learn to live with myself and look for people who can live with me.

Yup. Also applies if you're diagnosed but having to rawdog all of it because your body can't tolerate either ADHD meds or antidepressants. So you're stuck trying to kludge together solutions with behavioral, cognitive and lifestyle changes and it's like trying to build a sand castle with powdered sugar. Maybe you can make something stick together a bit, but one big sneeze and it's all gone.

What've been the most helpful changes you've made? I know it all depends on the person, but I'm interested.

My phone has been a lifesaver for remembering things. I grew up in the days of paper planners, so it's a real treat to be able to set up reminders etc. Prior to that I used lists and post-it notes. Post-it notes are tricky because if you use them a lot they become part of the scenery, so getting an assortment and changing to a different color note helped me to notice them.

For developing habits, instead of "do it for 30 days and it'll stick" (lmao) I try to shoot for progressively more consistency over time. So when getting back in the habit of flossing, every day was overwhelming but I could do once per week which was better than nothing. Then every other day. Now I do it daily. Does this work with everything? No but when it works it works. In other words don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some > none.

Mindfulness is not a cure-all but it is a good building block. I practiced just being present and noticing my thoughts. Noticing thoughts allowed me to start observing my train of thought to see where exactly it derails and keeps me from getting things done. If I can figure out where I'm getting distracted I can create workarounds for those. Sometimes I have to literally make a diagram of the thought pattern, like a flowchart, to see what's happening.

I also made a list of my main goals in life including the pedestrian ones like eating healthier and doing creative things, and posted a thing on my fridge to help remember to do something towards those goals every day that I feel up to it. That cuts down on the amount of time I spend in neutral gear wondering what to do with my time. If I don't know wtf else to do then at least I can do something small that will advance a life goal.

The last thing I'll say is give yourself some grace. Nobody has their shit together. Some people just fake it better. Reward yourself whenever you make progress and go out of your way to point out to yourself when you accomplished something or successfully used a cognitive tool. That voice in your head that says you're dumb and can't do anything? It's a jerk, don't listen to it. Go out of your way to rub your successes in its face.

That's all I got, hope it helped.

Even treated this is me 😭 Vyvanse helps Zoloft helps but this is still my daily struggle.

I agree that I still struggle with the social stuff a lot. The meds do help me with executive functioning tremendously, but they are not a panacea.

I havent been diagnosed but im sure i have it. Getting a diagnosis is a pain in the ass in austin. That being said i think i have gotten better at recognizing when i am in an abnormal state like depression. My mind starts getting cloudy or darker and feel it get heavier. If that makes any sense

I went to my primary care doctor about it, and I matched every attention/stress criteria on their sheet, but I dodn't have anger issues so they said I didn't have ADHD. Yet every time I see a post like this it matches exactly. It's weird to say I think I have ADHD when a doctor has told me I don't have it... But I still think I have it, it just matches too well.

So I guess welcome to the undiagnosed gang, good to have you

Ugh haha! That's annoying, can relate. I got disqualified by my psychiatrist because I can work independently 😂 Fuck haha. HOW stupid is that?

I got pissed, immediately drove to the clinic where I got my referral, got a doctor, and told him I wanted another referral for a second opinion, told him the psychiatrist's opinion didn't make sense to me. He told me it's subjective, and said I could do a self assement. I haven't done it yet haha, but I'd recommend pushing the subject.

Increasingly in my life, I've found this to manifest as an intolerance of frustration. Need a tool that's not at hand? That project's never getting finished. Anyone have methods for coping with this?

For hobbies/projects or just general upkeep, I find it helps to have dedicated, visible places for things. Myself and my wife both have ADHD, so we're a bit of a mess lol. My wife likes to paint and she has a dedicated table and cart that contains all of her art stuff. In theory, it stays there and never leaves. She'll occasionally take things out of their space and they will be forgotten/abandoned for weeks. When it stays in its place shes more active and doesn't quit on pieces due to not having easy access.

I like to cook and find the same to be true in the kitchen. Certain things go in certain drawers, cabinets, etc. Obsessively. They have to be exactly where they're supposed to be or I'll either forget about them or try to improvise, often with not great results. So I guess my advice is to keep things where you're most likely to use/need them and do your best to stick to it. Having multiples of whatever your "thing" is also helps. Within reason of course. There's no need to have multiple drills, stud finders, blenders, etc.

I feel like I have untreated ADHD, but at this point I have no idea how exactly to get the proper help and sometimes I am too afraid to ask. What should I be looking out for in finding treatment?

What's called 'untreated adhd' in this image is in fact just normal personality traits that most people experience.

Everybody pees, but if you're doing it 80 times a day there's probably an issue.

The difference between adhd and neurotypical people though is the debilitating nature of these things. It's the level at which it impairs normal life and the extra toll it takes on everything you do.

Just like everyone gets sad but not everyone gets depressed, everyone experiences ADHD symptoms but only some have ADHD. It is about the frequency and severity of the impact on your life.

You're absolutely right that everything depicted in the image are things that are almost certain to occur to everyone. However, the difference between the two, as some other comments have already mentioned, is the frequency of which these symptoms occur causing it to be more debilitating than you would expect them to be.

I think it's valuable to society as a whole to respect and be open to other people's struggles when it comes to mental health, and your comment does not seem to acknowledge that but rather dismiss it.

This type of thinking and being quick to dismiss is natural because our human brains cannot interpret experiences others go through, especially with things that involve how they perceive and process information in the first place. But this is the main reason there are so many people that have untreated mental health issues BECAUSE of the fact that it's really hard to differentiate a mental health issue from someone going through regular everyday life. And the inverse is also true where many people struggle don't even know that they're struggling because even they think it's typical.

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I love how this is almost laid out like a chart. Each row is a different category of things to work on as somebody with ADHD. The left half is what to try to do and the right half is what not to do. All we can do is keep trying.

People don't understand that beating yourself up is still a shot of dopamine. Drama, including drama limited to your head... It's still dopamine.

Depression, sure, but the constant negatives that come with adhd is still a steady dopamine IV drip.

And after 40+ years of suffering in get diagnosed, and medicated, and now all the meds are backordered... Back to my old ways

I feel this to my soul. And for the longest time I didn't know it was ADHD. I just thought I was a lazy piece of shit.

I’m just starting the process of formal diagnosis, but this hits like a ton of bricks.

The last frame so much. Leads to low self esteem. makes it worse that you can be almost a outgoing individual but this trap leads you to be an annoying depressive outrovert.

Diagnosed autistic as an adult, but not tested for ADHD...but this image feels very, very familiar.

Depression is honestly no joke, but help is out there and people care. That aside i googled my symptoms and now i have several serious diseases.

Wait based on this list I am depressed, any more symptoms?

If you think you might be depressed, it’s best to look for a psychiatrist who can make an assessment. I’m providing this info for educational purposes only, please don’t diagnose yourself.

To be officially diagnosed with depression, you’d need to have at least five of the following symptoms for at least 2 weeks, and at least one of the boldened symptoms needs to be present:

  • Depressed mood

  • Loss of interest/pleasure in almost all activities

  • Significant weight loss or gain without dieting or significant decreases or increases in appetite.

  • Sleeping too much or too little nearly every day.

  • Moving too much or too little nearly every day in a way that’s noticeable to other people.

  • Feeling fatigued and devoid of energy nearly every day.

  • Feeling worthless or inappropriately guilty nearly every day.

  • Having brain fog and indecisiveness.

  • And, finally, having thoughts of suicide.

More goes into the diagnosis (like for example ruling out medical conditions and substance use), so once again, please don't just diagnose yourself based on this list.

I always feel called out by content like this, but it’s so true.

I try to be myself with my excitement but it ends up overwhelming people

Damn. Too real.