There is a great way to monitor employee’s performance. This one weird trick will save you losing your best employees!
Are their tasks getting done on time and with quality work?
Congrats! You just learned how to treat your employees like adults.
Now kindly fuck off and let me continue to work in my underwear.
But... but... but...
It's proving that my 25 years of being paid 3 times as much as the people I "manage" has been a complete scam the entire time!
Hey, if they're getting all their work done on time, they're probably not getting enough work /s
And the 9 floating around managers will figure out to send THAT email, right?
Oh. Wait. No. You right.
Dem 9 gonna have 7 pointless meetings.
So frustrating how a remote world is exposing that...
Edit: not sarcastic. Satiracle.
Call me Candide.
My supervisors are the worst with this.
I work a physical labor job and the supervisors are supposed to help with that. What they do instead is idie away chatting and spending inordinate amounts of time "doing" it work.
Thankfully, in a backwards sort of way, after one of them tried dodging their work when the venue needed to be turned over for a city council meeting, our manager has throughly chewed them out.
Still, I don't have much faith in them, but we'll see where that goes.
Thats the thing... boses are basically saying that they cant do that. They cant actually measure how productive people are so they fall back on watching them like a hawk
pssshhh underwear.
Is it underwear if it isn't under anything?
It's under my ass all day, does that count?
Under where?
Under there.
I like to save that for Casual Friday. It helps the weekend feel special.
You're overlooking that most managers don't actually do anything, so they need desperately to justify their positions. I have a manager who has seven hours of meetings every day, five days a week. We make a fucking app. It barely changes month to month. What on earth are you spending 35 hours a week talking about?
The manager has so little to do they just micromanage everyone, and cause a massive backlog of work that doesn't have to exist.
I always thought that Office Space was satire, but it really is like that in a lot of companies. I spent more time updating managers than doing actual work since I started this position.
So what do you do when it isn't on time or quality work?
The same thing you’d do if they were working in an office. How does being remote change this?
Are you suggesting that physical punishment is necessary?
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Paddlin' is only for A+ work. It's a reward.
No. Is working in an office physical punishment?
Yes. Yes it is.
Why do you need physical access to employees that don't do their work on time or up to quality?
Training and education have been found to occur better in person than online.
If someone needs help, shouldn't they be given the best chance at success?
I'm going to want a citation on that. I learn just fine on my own, and I'm sure many others do too. If you're really concerned about giving people "the best chance at success" rather than just forcing them into boxes then you'd be presenting options.
it probably has to do with the quality of "remote training" materials. my company (contract security), I train new hires in a variety of things including CPR/AED/First Aid.... you can definitely tell the difference between people who were given the stupid web-cartoon training vs actual in person training.
hell, the remote training shit had terrible localization issues. (as in, would get our people arrested and charged with felonies... ooops....)
Is requiring all employees to spend multiple unpaid hours in a car during rush hour in order to put them in unattractive cubicals or desks akin to prison cells, where they are only allowed to shit x amounts a day, and where the manager keep looking over the shoulder to see if you are not wasting a minute thinking about anything other than work a punishment?
What do you think?
I don't tell employees where to live.
Make them a manager, obviously
People rarely get a job with no intention of doing the work. If work is falling behind there's usually a reason for it that can be fixed.
In the rare case that the person is just taking the mick, warn, punish, fire. In that order.
My company has a management mentorship program for remote employees. The boss actually travels to different employees homes and will stay with them and work with them at their house for the week. This keeps the execs happy enough to know that they’ve got middle management keeping an eye on the employees, while also allowing the remote work with no fuss. It’s an interesting approach for sure.
Is that real? No way in hell I would be hosting my boss for a week. I'm not even sure where they would fit.
No lol. I’m just being dumb
Sounds like a solution for when management can't even pay rent.
That sounds interesting, but I really wouldn't want my boss at my home.
There is a great way to monitor employee’s performance. This one weird trick will save you losing your best employees!
Are their tasks getting done on time and with quality work?
Congrats! You just learned how to treat your employees like adults.
Now kindly fuck off and let me continue to work in my underwear.
But... but... but...
It's proving that my 25 years of being paid 3 times as much as the people I "manage" has been a complete scam the entire time!
Hey, if they're getting all their work done on time, they're probably not getting enough work /s
And the 9 floating around managers will figure out to send THAT email, right?
Oh. Wait. No. You right.
Dem 9 gonna have 7 pointless meetings.
So frustrating how a remote world is exposing that...
Edit: not sarcastic. Satiracle.
Call me Candide.
My supervisors are the worst with this.
I work a physical labor job and the supervisors are supposed to help with that. What they do instead is idie away chatting and spending inordinate amounts of time "doing" it work.
Thankfully, in a backwards sort of way, after one of them tried dodging their work when the venue needed to be turned over for a city council meeting, our manager has throughly chewed them out.
Still, I don't have much faith in them, but we'll see where that goes.
Thats the thing... boses are basically saying that they cant do that. They cant actually measure how productive people are so they fall back on watching them like a hawk
pssshhh underwear.
Is it underwear if it isn't under anything?
It's under my ass all day, does that count?
Under where?
Under there.
I like to save that for Casual Friday. It helps the weekend feel special.
You're overlooking that most managers don't actually do anything, so they need desperately to justify their positions. I have a manager who has seven hours of meetings every day, five days a week. We make a fucking app. It barely changes month to month. What on earth are you spending 35 hours a week talking about?
The manager has so little to do they just micromanage everyone, and cause a massive backlog of work that doesn't have to exist.
I always thought that Office Space was satire, but it really is like that in a lot of companies. I spent more time updating managers than doing actual work since I started this position.
So what do you do when it isn't on time or quality work?
The same thing you’d do if they were working in an office. How does being remote change this?
Are you suggesting that physical punishment is necessary?
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Paddlin' is only for A+ work. It's a reward.
No. Is working in an office physical punishment?
Yes. Yes it is.
Why do you need physical access to employees that don't do their work on time or up to quality?
Training and education have been found to occur better in person than online.
If someone needs help, shouldn't they be given the best chance at success?
I'm going to want a citation on that. I learn just fine on my own, and I'm sure many others do too. If you're really concerned about giving people "the best chance at success" rather than just forcing them into boxes then you'd be presenting options.
it probably has to do with the quality of "remote training" materials. my company (contract security), I train new hires in a variety of things including CPR/AED/First Aid.... you can definitely tell the difference between people who were given the stupid web-cartoon training vs actual in person training.
hell, the remote training shit had terrible localization issues. (as in, would get our people arrested and charged with felonies... ooops....)
Is requiring all employees to spend multiple unpaid hours in a car during rush hour in order to put them in unattractive cubicals or desks akin to prison cells, where they are only allowed to shit x amounts a day, and where the manager keep looking over the shoulder to see if you are not wasting a minute thinking about anything other than work a punishment?
What do you think?
I don't tell employees where to live.
Make them a manager, obviously
People rarely get a job with no intention of doing the work. If work is falling behind there's usually a reason for it that can be fixed.
In the rare case that the person is just taking the mick, warn, punish, fire. In that order.
My company has a management mentorship program for remote employees. The boss actually travels to different employees homes and will stay with them and work with them at their house for the week. This keeps the execs happy enough to know that they’ve got middle management keeping an eye on the employees, while also allowing the remote work with no fuss. It’s an interesting approach for sure.
Is that real? No way in hell I would be hosting my boss for a week. I'm not even sure where they would fit.
No lol. I’m just being dumb
Sounds like a solution for when management can't even pay rent.
That sounds interesting, but I really wouldn't want my boss at my home.