What happened to "You're welcome!" as a response to "Thank You"? It's not even included in the canned answers on an apple watch. Have we as a society abandoned it?

Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 173 points –

I hear "No problem" far more often.

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Years ago, I had to do customer service training for a job, and one thing they said is to always say "you're welcome" instead of "no problem", because some people think "no problem" is rude. But I think it's a generational thing, and it's kind of the opposite with younger folks.

Nothing is worse than other options though like Chic fil a's mandated "my pleasure"

When a chic-fil-a worker hits you with that, you gotta one-up them with "No! The pleasure is all mine!" and then hit the gas, peeling out cackling because you stole that pleasure motherfuckaaaaah.

(Or better, don't go to chic-fil-a)

I told a bartender “oh, the pleasure was all ours!” one time just sort of joking around and he said “you have no idea how much”. I wasn’t really sure how to take that.

I would be wondering what I did to make his job more difficult.

Yeah, I saw a few intepretations:

  • he was joking
  • he hates his job and all of the customers
  • he hated us in particular (there'd be no reason why though, my gf and I showed up, had a couple glasses of wine, didn't complain that one had gnats in it, got rained on on the patio, went inside and paid and I had just finished tipping 25-30%)

I think we collectively decided that “you’re welcome” doesn’t make sense. Welcome to what??

::: spoiler spoiler asdfasdfsadfasfasdf :::

Implying that it was an effort, but you are welcome to it. Whereas “no problem” denotes that the effort is was not a problem for me to do. I use them interchangeably - “you’re welcome” as a response to a complement, or something where there was moderate effort put into the task; “no problem” when the task was low effort (“Thanks for responding to that email so quickly”) or I feel my effort was obliged (helping pick up after a meeting).

Actually “no problem” implies that the thing would normally be a problem, but that you are negating that.

It’s like saying “No visible bruising”. There’s the implication something happened that might have caused bruising.

Disagree, no problem is saying that what you are thanking me for was not a problem for me to do.

Honestly, I think this perception is the disconnect between millennials thinking it’s better and boomers thinking it’s rude - two different perspectives of what it means.

Also, don’t ackchyually me on an opinion.

Welcome to what??

Isn’t that obvious? You’re welcome to the thing you received. The thing you are thanking them for.

Maybe it's "you are welcome (to ask me for help/favors, as I am neutral to the task. I might even enjoy it.)"

And "it's not a problem (for me to do what you asked me to do; we have now both acknowledged that I have done something to help you that was not organic to me, but now we can move past it with no further conversation.)"

I bet "no problem" to some people is like seeing someone wear a T-shirt to church. They'd really prefer it if you would put on a suit and tie, even though the purpose of both are the same (cover my body when away from home because that is our current social agreement), because a T-shirt is disrespectful.

Also everyone sucks, it is a problem, and you are not welcome.

I think a lot of younger generation, myself included, prefer casual responses, conflating professionalism with being rude, slimy, or otherwise malintentioned

I had to do one communucation trainung where the trainer saud that saying "no problem" should not be used, because it implies there might've been a problem. I was not convinced though.

Then "your welcome" implies you might not be welcome. Seems like either both work or both are problematic, he can't have it both ways.

Agreed. Might also be because "problem" is a word with negative conotation? Idk, I don't see a problem (hah) myself

Wow. facepalm The words literally say there's no problem, and yet it somehow implies there is a problem? Talk about overthinking what someone is saying.

This is why I often hate neurotypical communication styles. The world would be a lot more straightforward if people just said what they meant. Jesus fucking Christ on a motorbike...

... would be quite a sight to see. Although if He can do all those other miracles, I guess fucking Himself on a motorcycle wouldn't be impossible. So I guess it's just a straightforward statement on your part.

It doesn’t imply that there is a problem. It implies that there would have been a problem, if it hadn’t been generously waived by the “no problem”.

Someone said that to me just the other day! That saying "no problem" implies there might be a problem. Crazy. I'm thinking of switching to "well it was quite an imposition on my time and energy to help you out, especially given you're not paying me, but I'll let it slide this time because you seem like an ok person and I'm in a good mood" just to annoy them.

I doubt that would annoy them more than “no problem” since it is perfectly in line with what they think you’re saying by “no problem”.

During my years in retail exactly one customer ever had a problem with me saying "no problem". He also said he was an assassin. That's not a joke. This old, fat boomer said I shouldn't say 'no problem' because some people might take it to mean 'yes problem' and then told me he kills people for a living.

That's the stability of people that can't understand the meaning of words. If I go to a police station and say I am a serial killer vs I'm not a serial killer, I don't expect them to react the same...

I've been making an effort to use "happy to help" at work, instead of "no problem" because I was also informed it's a generational thing.

For paid service I like the simple "of course" recognizing that is what I'm here for and it's normal. No faux generosity nor implication of a tolerated imposition.

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