[meta] "." is not a rule

spujb@lemmy.cafe to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 616 points –

Screenshot shows three comments being removed from !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone (this community) by one of 196’s mods with the reason for removal being “.” (literally just a period).

I looked into this and discovered that the comments were just some fairly polite, if snarky, comments in response to the mod themselves. I could not identify a reason for comment removal per the site or community rules, so if there was one, “.” doesn’t cut it.

This is a callout post y’all. Do better. Start putting actual moderation reasons into the modlog for the benefit of you and other mods, otherwise what is the point of a transparent and federated platform?

As of now, it looks like the mod involved is just using their mod powers in a self-serving fashion. I am not making that accusation now, but that’s how it looks.

Please and thank you. Mods here do an excellent job keeping 196 on Lemmy a bearable place to be, and I know you are already struggling to staff the positions, but please also hold one another accountable when it comes to misuse of power. Thanks :)

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Alright, I'll try to do better. I will say that while this doesn't defend my actions, I've been under a high amount of stress in the last 2 weeks. If people want, I will resign as mod without question.

EDIT: Restored the posts with "Restored due to community feedback/me being a dick."

EDIT 2: I am going to do some shopping and chores, if the community wants me gone, I will remove myself when I am back, or have the mod team boot me.

That's pretty cool of you to show up to the conversation in good faith tbh.

Mainly because I sometimes need a reality check. I agreed to be a mod here at a normal point of the last year, and the last ~5 months have been putting so much weird shit in my brain it's not been healthy.

Wtf is this mindfulness on the fucking Internet. This MF a real one.

I try to be. Not always.

Honestly mad respect for owning it. No one's perfect all the time, and it takes a lot of courage to be able to admit when those mistakes happen.

In my opinion, that makes you MORE qualified to be a mod -- not less.

Yeah I'd rather see an Internet community keep a mod who has shown they're capable of introspection then they made a mistake, than try and pretend they can find a new mod who won't make mistakes.

Anyone who says being a mod for a community is easy has never been one

That shit is hella hard on your mental health

IMO an ideal mod team is one where there's enough mods that all of them only have to head over to their community once every few days so that it doesn't become overwhelming

Only if you give a fuck, be an adult and ignore that shit, and if you can't, then being a mod is not something for you.

judging by this comment alone: you'd be an awful mod

Lol I mod multiple large subs. I hardly ban anyone and am very pro free speech. People bitch about changes and target me and my fellow mods but we ignore it because it's petty drama at the end of the day. My point still stands, if you get emotional and abuse your power like this mod did because some user talked shit about you, you're a terrible mod. Judging by your comment, you have no clue what you're talking about, but that's typical for the Internet.

I've been a moderator of a large discord server for the past 2 years, none of the problems were solved by "ignoring the drama"

Cool, so you ban people for talking shit about you and abuse your power?

obviously not? And the mod of this community owned up to their mistake of abusing power and didn't ban anyone.

Where did that even come from, we were talking about mental health, moderation responsibilities & ways of handling them, why are you escalating

No you brought up how you mod a discord, and how you think you should jump into petty drama to solve problems. The mod in question removed comments that were critical of them, meaning they fed into drama. I made a statement, that points out that being a mod requires thick skin and if your feelings get hurt easily you shouldn't be a mod.... apparently a bunch of thin skinned mods/people didn't like that.

lmao, either reading comprehension is not strong with you, or you're really trying to instigate conflict by intentionally misinterpreting what I said in the worst way possible. Also "everyone that disagrees with me is thin skinned" lol.

Anyway, I'm not a mod here, I'm not interested in resolving this one sided conflict, and neither am I interested in furthering it, so peace o7

It isn't always that easy.

Some people are human.

Here is what being a mod can do to your mental health (all three videos are basically the same, watch the one with the best thumbnail or whatever.):

Which makes my point stand. If it's effecting your mental health, modding isnt for you. How no one here is understanding that is beyond me. Being a mod/admin on anything that deals with people/the public is a thankless job and requires thick skin.

The thing is that everyone is affected. Everyone just reacts differently and it might take a bit longer for some people.

It isn't healthy for anyone.

Maybe someone without any empathy whatsoever can be fine, but not anyone else.

Sure, it can be, not denying that. You can have plenty of empathy and still learn to ignore trolls and drama and just do the job.

I feel this deeply. I don't think you should have to leave over this unless there is a large community sentiment that it's time.

Gonna throw my hat into the ring here and say this kind of self-reflection and improvement is exactly how communities of any kind improve.

People have problems, stress and issues. This shit happens. The ability to say "I fucked up", then fix the fuckup and prevent similar fuckups happening in future is how we as a global society improve and become better people.

In short: everyone should attempt to be better, that's all anyone can ask.

Completely agree. I understand that as of now, Queue has stepped down as a mod, but I hope that at such a time in the future where their mental health is better that they will return. The ability to say, 'You're right. I'm too stressed to properly do this right now. Here's what I'll do instead' is incredibly appreciated.

That's the kind of person I WANT as a mod, provided that they actually take the time to de-stress, reflect and come back as a better person.

I think that your willingness to self-examine, admit fault, and attempt to make amends speaks well of your character and suitability as a mod (if you desire to continue and it is healthy for you to do so). You come across as genuine and willing to try to listen and self-correct.

We all have bad days/weeks/months/years. It's unfortunately just part of being human. And we all do things that we may not think are necessarily right when reflecting on them, often because of emotional state, etc. That's ok. Yeah, it may cause some hurt or upset, and damage that we do may not always be repairable but, that's just life as a social being. As long as you try to do better, there's nothing more anyone can legitimately ask of you. Personal growth and emotional health isn't linear - don't beat yourself up if you hit a rut. You're human; screwing up is one of our species' greatest talents.

Please take care of yourself and see what you can do to address stressors in your life, where possible. Your well-being is more important and any moderation queue. If taking some time away is needed but you wish to continue, please coordinate with the other mods to get it.

I wasn’t involved in the post in question, but FWIW I appreciate you taking feedback into account and putting the posts back up. Everyone’s human and is going to make sub-optimal calls sometimes, being open to fixing it is basically the best that can be asked for.

I don’t want you to resign over this or anything like that, but please do take care of yourself even if that means taking some time away. If internet modding is adding to your stress in an already stressed time, you gotta put on your own oxygen mask first before you assist others, you know?

Fair enough, but I sometimes feel like "if no one will clean up the mess, who will?" in most things in life. Small and big, trivial and actual problems. From "if I don't do the dishes, who will?" to "If there's a flood of Mod requests, and everyone else is busy, I should deal with it."

Being an online moderator is simultaneous the most trival and easy task and "I can't believe people say these things, why do I have to clean up the messes users leave with zero thinking behind them?"

I recently left a role as a voted in admin of something since I grew tired of moderating my friends and the straw that broke the camels back was during the self-immolation protest a few months back ::: spoiler spoiler Two people heavily implied if not directly said that if anyone in the server didn't want to do it themselves, they are a false ally and why socialism never took root in America. ::: Really was dumbfounded by such a take that I screenshot the chat logs for clarity, removed the chat, banned them, and resigned as admin and told my friends "If you wanna hang with me still, I'll be here in this place, otherwise I'm done being here."

Sometimes people just say the dumbest things online, I'm one of those people sometimes.

Having modded internet forums in the past I totally get it, especially anything queer related is going to attract just the absolute trash of the internet. It’s legitimately distressing for many people to see that shit all day even if you’re getting paid for it, but on a volunteer basis? It’s basically a miracle anywhere is modded at all, much less in a timely manner.

It sounds like there were some jackasses on that server. There’s probably someone smarter than me that’s explored the concept of forum moderation as emotional labor which is expected to be performed and devalued; but in lieu of that I’ll just say don’t discount the effort you put in. If it was so easy everyone could do it then there would never be a lack of mods or disagreement about modding (which, LMAO).

Geez no wonder you're in a bit of a funk. It's terrible having to moderate friends in general, and that's a messy situation that will only lead to misunderstanding when done over text. Hope you take some time for you and check in with yourself.

This statement by itself restores a ton of my faith in you. I have no weight to throw around here and ultimately my opinion is more or less meaningless, but in my meaningless opinion, if an actual effort is made to improve on this then I'm happy to have you stay. A simple apology, explanation and promise is more than I've gotten out of 99% of all other moderators I've ever interacted with.

I have no horse in this race, but the fact that you're being communicative and taking any responsibility means you're probably a better mod than most. Admittedly, it's a low bar but still.

Probably best not to do it again though.

Bit of a waste to have someone learn how to mod properly then have them leave, no?

Been a mod before, but I'm at least taking a leave for a bit to just reduce mental load. If I do stay, this is something to keep in mind.

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