The perfect morning

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.websitemod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 440 points –
27

My kind of good morning is sleeping in not doing shit.

I just want to skip mornings. Can I just sleep till noon on a daily basis, please?

Early afternoon will become your morning.

Nobody wants to arrange pallets.

I love operating heavy machinery as long as I don't have to get out/off the heavy machinery.

If I have to get off to fix it when it breaks then I'm unhappy.

Using an airconditioned tractor for literally anything, fun. Unjamming the fucking hay bailer when it's over 100F and 95% humidity and there's dust everywhere, not fun.

The rules of operating heavy machinery:

  1. Imagine the machine as a hydraulic extension of your own body
  2. Maybe you're on a space mining colony
  3. Whenever a disgusting meatsuit walks nearby to your exoskeleton, say under your breath "Get away from her, you bitch!"

Did they show you the safety video of people getting shish kebabd by the forklift?

The de-gloving segment is the only part that ever stuck with me. Wearing rings makes my fingers itch now.

Oh man I watched a co worker get his box cutter caught on his wedding ring and continue down. It was not pretty. Not a degloving, but that was thankfully the closest I ever got to seeing one.

Whoa there partner, you're about to shake hands with danger.

You got your Rifftrax in my MST3K!

I did watch that german(?) forklift video for my forklift training

Is that the one with the comically careless guy who effectively wanders the warehouse leaving destruction in his wake?

Somewhere out there, Dwight Fairfield is complaining about the way that the pallets have been arranged.