Jolly Old Saint Schrödinger

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1121 points –
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Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.

In at least one of the universes the house will have a chimney

Hopefully all the Christmas decorations don't cause any quantum entanglement as he rushes around.

Wrong, Google maps can track him and I've heard him in the middle on the night.

Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.

Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he's going or where he is, but not both at the same time.

We can't measure Santa at all if we don't want to have an effect on Santa. This is dangerous territory.

I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

Are you sure that isn't just a peeping tom?

No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.

Your mom didn't shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.

The problem with Santa Tracker is that he only visits like 20 cities accross the globe.
I live in bumfuck nowhere and I still get presents. That's how I know that Google is lying.

I like the idea of the time zone Santa being in is like an electron probability cloud.

I subscribe to the multi Santa theory

So can someone who understands quantum theory higher level than a simple idiot like myself confirm if this actually holds to real quantum physics, or is it just words?

As an expert scientician with a degree in science, I can tell you in my educated opinion that Santa's Quantum Superposition Theory is the best explanation for how I got a Zartan action figure in 1985 without ever telling my mom and dad I wanted one.

It also explains how everyone gets exactly what they asked Santa for. Before the present is opened it contains all possible presents and once you open it, it collapses to what you expected.

Wave function collapse is a totally real thing, yeah.

Most quantum stuff doesn't apply to our every day, macro lives.

Except seeing Santa. If you see him, run.

Don't stop running.

He's faster than a deer, and you need a head start. ;)

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To a degree, yes. As was mentioned elsewhere there is a thing called Wave Function Collapse, which occurs when a measurement is taken of a quantum system and forces the system from superposition (multiple states at once) into a single state. A measurement could be seeing it, scanning it, bumping into it, etc (not human conscious observation, that's an old and weird interpretation and not relevant nowadays).

Before (and after as well) you actually collapse the wave function you can perform meaningful math using the quantum particles. The one way I'm familiar with is for computer calculations, which is what quantum computers are aiming for. This is basically done by canceling out certain possibilities to only allow the wave function to collapse into ways that give meaningful mathematic results.

As such, this is barely relatable to a quantum Santa which uses this nature to perform meaningful present sharing actions simultaneously using quantum superposition of a quantum system that is spread out over a very large area. Of course, basic quantum mechanics becomes statistically the same as normal physics (i.e. 10 quadrillion particles average out to one normal human), so Santa would need to be a reality bender to allow for such small chances to occur to allow a human sized being to affect a huge area... but whatever.

Yes, but no.

A quantum Santa could deliver presents to every house simultaneously if nothing observed his passage. On the other hand, at some point the wave function will collapse, like say when people check what presents are under the tree. When the wave function collapses, the probabilities all go away and there's a single answer, so he could deliver presents to one and only one house.

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Correction: only MY house gets presents if I see Santa. THEY'RE ALL MINE

Image Transcription: Mastodon Post


Bastett, @Bastett@meow.social

Santa is a quantum being. His probabilistic nature means he can be in every house at the same time on Christmas.

This is why it's vitally important noone sees him. If he's observed the probabilites collapse and only one house gets presents.

#Christmas

It's your parent(s)/primary caregiver(s). It's expensive and a little gratitude wouldn't hurt.

It is santa. You think my own parents would just lie to me for over 30 years!? To hand the credit to someone imaginary? Doesn't make a shred of sense.

This is not a problem for kids here in Finland. On Christmas Eve, there is a knock on the door and Santa Claus (Joulupukki) comes in to greet the family and bring gifts.

No problem with observation or collapsing Christmas probability fields or whatever. He brings the presents, you thank him and that's it.