You said I could eat anything, right?

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 615 points –
22

The executioner looking at me after I asked to eat him as my last meal

I’d be so nervous during my last meal that I’d definitely puke and never want to eat that dish again, so I would make sure to pick something I don’t like.

So, unfunny fact. In Texas, the nation's leader in state sanctioned executions, you don't get to order anything. Because my mayor is an absolute piece of shit, we ended the practice way back in 2011.

Now death row inmates receive the same inedible crap served to the rest of the building for their final meal.

I'd probably try Fugu if I had to order my last meal. I also doubt they would bother to cook it properly so I would avoid my sentence (officially).

If I ever get the death penalty I'm going to eat a huge amount of food that I know will give me a giant volcano of diarrhea.

I'm never going to hurt anyone, but all these new censorship laws going around and me being as subversive as I tend to be...some of the jokes I make. Yeah.