Water rule

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 615 points –
36

The future is stupid.

I’d like my appliances to stay dumb. I don’t need Bluetooth and WiFi in everything.

This is a good attitude. Remember that the 'S' in "IoT" stands for security

Ummmm excuse me but how can you not want a WiFi-connected, Bluetooth-enabled facial tissue dispenser?

Literally insane.

Because it can't recognize my face to give me my special tissues for my special face, duh? Do you think I can just use the non-machine learning enhanced custom* oil soaking face tissues?

*Feature only works with an online connection to a server in Slovenia owned by a shell company in Brazil whose parent is based out of Switzerland.

Smart speaker hears you sneeze and, tells tissue dispenser to say "bless you" and hand you a tissue.

What if a new improved washing algorithm drops and you haven't updated, you'll miss out on the latest water pour trends

I would be cool with a diagnostics interface that I use for monitoring, but yeah I don't need my fridge uploading how much chocolate cake I have or the number of beers I drank Saturday night to the cloud where a health insurance risk manager can make assumptions.

The board has already replaced the health insurance risk manager with AI. Don't worry! Now, a neural net is guessing based off of how much money the CEO wants to make next quarter.

Of course... Can you imagine just finishing up school with a degree in Actuarial Sciences, something historically considered extremely difficult, and therefore typically led to lucrative jobs, only to find out that it is being taken over by AI, and your degree is basically an even more meaningless math degree...

Display with temperature, possibly load level (relevant when freezing), beeper for a door alarm and as those two are already there also add a clock and kitchen timer. USB interface in case you want to protocol and control programmatically, no need to have a port just make sure to document where the pins on the board are. Make the display LED for longevity, no need for pixels 4-position alphanumeric is fine. Not blue or at least let me dim the thing.

Oh, and a feature that every refrigerator should have: An oil sensor as the compressor running dry if the thing has been tilted is a sure-fire way to kill those things and hardware shouldn't bloody kill itself just by turning it on.

Pfft. Imagine not running your fridge on a rolling release distro.

Finally gets Copilot and may be able to create smart water.

I dunno. I asked for smart water and got a poor implementation of quicksort in a glass? I'm not even sure how it did that, but I am impressed.

Quicksort is mainly for chocolate milk. Bubblesort works well with carbonated water.

That's why you gotta get a Linux refrigerator. And coffee maker. And washer/drier. Etc.

Most smart devices actually run on Linux due to how flexible and lightweight it is.

Thank God for someone like Linus Torvalds being in the right place at the right time, just before the "internet of things" became a thing.

In a somewhat roundabout way, I wonder whether it is precisely because of people like him that IoT could become a thing (and that’s not a criticism or blaming of him)

After the update, the water is all yellow-ish.

There is no reason whatsoever for a home appliance to have a computer in it. If you need to know how much of what is in your refrigerator get one with a clear door

Don't get me wrong: tech is awesome. I spend way, way too much money on the newest scifi shit. I have a folding phone, at least 10 cameras, a laser cutter, 5 windows systems I use regularly (3 laptops, a desktop, and a handheld), 2 drones, a color e-ink tablet, and even a kayak with a GPS-controlled motor.

I have a diving flashlight that cost more than 2 different cars I've bought.

It's a problem. But I love new tech and all the cool shit I can do with it.

But appliances? If the device's function is simply to make something hot, cold, wet, dry, or clean it's pretty much a solved problem from a tech standpoint. Not really any significant innovations since the Microwave.

When the circuit board failed in my parent's 3yo dryer the part was $700. I have a 50yo dryer that's basically a glorified egg timer attached to a motor and it works great. Last time it broke I replaced a switch in the door for 50 cents, and that was over a decade ago.

that's the thing - put tech in stuff where it makes sense. no one needs an Internet connected toothbrush or a smart fridge, they're just useless gadgets

Yep. Tech is a wonderful thing but not everything needs it

Ehh, sometimes with enough features a microcontroller is appropriate. But a full-blown operating system - even an embedded variant - is many steps too far.

I hope it reboots to a mime simulating a certain act while we hear "Suck it, jin yang"

So, video/mp4, video/mpeg, video/webm, video/webp, or one of the other mimes?

This makes me realize soon you will have to watch a video ad before your fridge will give you ice.