Happy Father's Day.

BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 592 points –
35

Jokes on them, we used IVF, they got picked for who knows what reason under a microscope.

From your most photogenic swimmer.

Even in the old school way, this postcard is incorrect. The winner is rarely the fastest swimmer, as several sperm arrive at the egg before a single one is allowed inside.

Yeah, the egg decides who gets let in. "Happy Father's Day from your most attractive (to Mom's egg) swimmer"

Not an expert but I don’t think it’s as simple as “fastest swimmer”.

And people forget that we're also the egg.

No no, people don't forget the egg, it's just that the egg is just a bloody smear without the magic serum.

And the serum is just a stain in your sock without the magic egg.

Exactly, it's when the magic happens that it matters. Otherwise it's smears all around

The one that happened to show up when the mob made an opening*

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Actually, the fastest swimmer bangs his head on the egg's shell and gets none.

FLazy: Father's Day/Date Sun, Jun 16, 2024 for the USA.

You've still got like 2 weeks for the people who care.

Seriously, why did OP post this two weeks ahead of time

Poster-sized prints take a while.

Just kidding, the idea of sending this to one’s own father is rather repulsive. Guess some of y’all are weirdos though and that’s cool :)

These are the kinds of cards my wife might have given me before my son was old enough to pick one out for me.

Yeah, my dad would disown me again if I sent him this

Because outside of the US, Father's day is in 4 days :)

In Germany father's day was 3 weeks ago. But it's actually a Christian holiday and people came to call it father's day because we don't have an official one and wanted a day for drinking.

All people drink on father's day though and we also drink on other days but that's what we have now.

Yeah my mom was my dad for all but the first 3 years. My dad decided early he wanted another setup, so took off and got one. So somewhere out there i have a half brother and sister and all their resultant kin. We dont communicate