Lifeprotip

morrowind@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 566 points –
27

I mean, I guess it depends on where he's keeping his phone while nude. He might enjoy a little nude pickpocketing, if he's open minded, and the pickpocket has sufficient lube

This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

I call this comment, the "58008's Wild Ride"

Mr. Skeltal's was worse.

Edit: I misremembered the meme. It was Mr. Bones. Doot doot.

You thank mr skeltal for helping you get off mr bones wild ride.

I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.

I do walk a bit funny though.

So, like, which one goes in first? And if you need that, do you have to pull everything else out of your pocket to get to it?

Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of... rootle around in there.

Cool, cool cool cool... your pocket knife isn't spring-assisted is it? or a gravity knife?

"Hold my bear" I wispered, reaching for my kitchen tongs