Anyone has the famous reddit story with the immortal snail?

Reddit@lemmy.world – 36 points – 1 years ago

There was this legendary comment on reddit to a thread asking people what would their plan be if they were immortal and got milion dollars, but there was a superintelligent immortal snail also with milion dollars who would want to kill them. I was trying to find it but as far as I can tell OP removed it. Does anyone here have it and could post it here by any chance?

Here you go, via Wayback Machine.

It's the top comment, which has since been edited.

Thanks! Exactly what I was looking for. Don't ise wayback machine much so the option never occured to me.

You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?

Decoy snail?

Yeah, I believe thas the comment thread I mean, but couldn't find it :(

I believe the question goes:

Would you become immortal and receive a million dollars, if the only thing that could kill you was being touched by an also immortal snail, which constantly moves toward you at a snails pace and cannot be contained or blocked by any means?

Either that, or there existed multiple versions of the question, which isn't unlikely.

How would even the most evil of snails be able to kill me if I am immortal?

Think of it as being your kryptonite.

Correct me if I am wrong, but this was a question from Gavin Free on the Roosterteeth podcast

Btw, how would a snail, even a super intelligent one, get out of a christmas bauble?

The material will eventually break down. You're both immortal.

Encase the fucker in granite then put the granite prison into orbit.

Oh. Invulnerable too?

In this scenario, if you were to venture to the bottom of the ocean you wouldn't drown, but you also wouldn't get any oxygen so your muscles would seize and you would be stuck. A fate worse than death, imo

I'd assume so.

Someone found the answer OP was looking for:

https://kbin.social/m/reddit@lemmy.world/t/483481/-/comment/2551972

Eeh, Kbin wants a login.

Weird, but it's a comment on this post, so it should be easy to find. 😀

1 more...

Didn't that story originate from rooster teeth

No idea tbh

Put a glass over the snail. Put a car on top of it. Glass breaks, snail dies by accident.

I think one of the stipulations was that it couldn’t be killed

But it could be detained. So, put glass over snail. Shuffle glass to edge of table with a card to keep the snail in the glass. Turn glass over and seal with several layers of plastic wrap. Place sealed glass in a small safe. Put the small safe in a bigger safe. Pay a deep sea fishing vessel to bring you and the safe to the location of the Mariana Trench. Drop safe from boat into the trench. Have fishermen drop you off in Costa Rica, retire as a hermit living on the beach.

As the safe descends into the trench, it implodes.

The snail is now free and seeks its revenge. The snail will taste blood.

Impossible...the safe is made from reinforced steel, not carbon fiber...

Just don't hire oceangate to make your safe

It’s interesting how blithely people consign an immortal super-intelligent being to ostensibly millennia of consciousness, while entombed.

I’m no hippie, but I would probably prefer to be touched by the snail than know I had tortured another intelligent being for many lifetimes.

So, we pop one of those apple airtags on the snail, right. And we also schmooze with the TSA so the snail ends up on all the no-fly lists, passport revoked, all that. But, as a trade, snail gets free drinks anywhere, for life, so at least there's refreshments to lament over.

The snail’s not that intelligent. It voted for Trump twice, has a thin blue line punisher sticker on its shell, and thinks immigrants and The Gays (tm) are responsible for its social ills.

SNAIL IS SUPREME I AM SO SORRY

cracks knuckles

stretches arms

pushes glasses up nose

I'm about to show this lemmy thread what REAL intelligence looks like

I am Horrible thank you

The dismissive sentences you bookended your comment with is why you got downvoted. It's just a fun hypothetical question, no need to take it too seriously