Protecting my legacy rule

Itzz Me@midwest.social to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 741 points –
41

Ah, the dead man's switch. It always reminds me of the time my homophobic uncle-in-law died in a car crash and they found his secret stash of gay porn in the wreckage. Yeah, good luck explaining that one at the pearly gates my man.

What a brave man. While trying to protect the society from the evils of homosexualiness (rainbows, questionable moustaches, etc), he still tried to study the enemy to understand their flawed logic. šŸ«”

No, no you misunderstand. He was heroically hoarding all the gay porn, so it can't corrupt the youth. A true hero o7

man not only had a secret stash, he kept it in his fucking car

that means he was either going back and forth between the wank cave and the honda every session or he fapped in or around his car

Hearing them tell it, you would think they were more upset about the stash than his death.

I like to think it was both. He probably crashed because he was fapping in the car on the way to the wank cave to swap the fap cache. At least then he died doing what he loved.

Come to think of it, I'm reminded of a detail that may corroborate my theory. He was ejected from the car when it rolled. It actually pancaked his head, leaving the rest of him pretty intact.

Anyway, he clearly wasn't wearing a seatbelt. So now I'm thinking why wasn't he wearing it? And why was his dick out when they found him? I guess God is mysterious or whatever he used to like to say.

meh, if i die you can check my porn history. You'll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else. i'd be more embarrased by the duck duck go searches for when I'm trying to fix something.

You'll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else.

Don't know about the accuracy of this statement, but boy I hope it's true

You'll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else.

Can't wait in 10 years when I can check my femboy friends search history after he dies from a heart attack (he excessively drinks energy drinks), I bet there will be shit like "femboy tentacle expansion" or something weird like that

I just write a no-kink-shaming-rule into my testament.

Priest or equivalent: 'We are gathered today to remember the life of Bjrn Tantau, who had this uncommon, but not weird, kink about hobo feet'

Assembly: 'Good for them'

jokes on you I don't have a browser history, gardened firefox is amazing

what are you growing in your firefox?

Secrets by the sounds of it.

Secrets and artichokes. Secret artichokes.

You slipped up now, Hippie. We will expose the heart of your delicious plan(t), one buttery piece at a time.

Do you not set browsing history to erase on exit

You're assuming we don't programming ifttt to stop our hearts on exit, which subsequently triggers the erase history task.

You'd better be careful and spell "below" correctly, otherwise they're gonna find a way to involve a bellows. Time stamp 49 seconds

Is that really a function it offers? If this really works, it's the first time I've ever considered wanting to maybe finally buy & own & wear & use a smartwatch.

I just checked, because I thought this might have been added in an update I missed. But no, you cannot use heart rate as an automation trigger for a shortcut. I have POTS and I wanted to make it play ā€œI Will Surviveā€ when my HR passes 150 randomly.

I also checked and there isnā€™t even an action for clearing your safari history. Shortcuts could be so powerful if Apple didnā€™t hamstring the shit out of it.

Thank you. gosh technology could be even more advanced useful if they kept users' needs in mind. But technological advances seem to cater to whatever increases revenue and data collection.

kinda unrelated but huawei wants you to upload your ID AND bank account details just to gain access to local data available on your own watch.

there are ways around it tho, one of the prs for Gardgetbridge includes full support for huawei devices, and of course you could use that and documentation that was created during it's development to pull data via Bluetooth directly (without using the proprietary Huawei SDK)

Wait what. What is their reasoning behind this? It kinda feels like it won't hold ground in a lot of countries either

well you need access to the developer account in order to use the Health SDK, which also includes access to their app store so of course the verification process is pretty rigorous.
you also need an app published on appgallery (even if not publicly available) in order to use most apis, even if they just interact with local devices