Man that right wing grift money must be a hell of a drug
For the record, folks: Deadnaming a trans person will earn you an instant, permanent ban.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled real-life-imitating-The-Onion content.
That seems like an easily made, honest mistake. I would hope context matters more.
for real, I'm pro trans rights and I still sometimes accidentally deadname Elliot Page because I have dyscalculia. if you ban me for that aren't you being ableist?
also yes context is very important.
if I say "when Caitlyn went by the name [X], and she used [Y] pronoun, [Z] thing happened to [Y]", I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I'm innocently adding clarity to a conversation.
to make things worse, if someone is trans and gender fluid, and I call them by a name or pronoun they used last time I knew about them, now I've committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.
this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.
Dyscalculia is a disability resulting in difficulty learning or comprehending arithmetic, such as difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, performing mathematical calculations, and learning facts in mathematics. It is sometimes colloquially referred to as "math dyslexia", though this analogy is misleading as they are distinct syndromes.[5]
What does that have to do with deadnaming people? Don't try to use a disability as a shield for shitty behavior.
I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I’m innocently adding clarity to a conversation.
Yes because that's still deadnaming, that information isn't relevant and isn't needed in context. It's not necessary to dead name and misgender someone to talk about things they did before transition. It's completely unnecessary, and in the context of your example you KNOW they don't use that anymore so its actually worse.
now I’ve committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.
No you haven't no one is going to get mad about simply not knowing a change has been made. Its when you KNOW what they prefer and yet you still deadname them.
this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.
No it doesn't
wow aren't you just a ray of sunshine.
what does that have to do with deadnaming people?
I guess you're the expert here since you Googled a condition & now you know everything there is to know about it, right?
let me break it down. over 12 years ago when I was diagnosed, among the better-known symptoms like mixing up numbers, "misremembering names" (especially those that start with the same letter/sound) was a frequently published symptom of dyscalculia (and dyslexia, FWIW):
fast forward to 2013, in the DSM-5 they changed the definition of dyslexia and dyscalculia, removed them as diagnoses and instead replaced them with a more general diagnosis: "Specific Learning Disorder", which among other things now requires that a person is "unable to perform academically at a level appropriate to their intelligence and age."
in my opinion, and this is just my non-professional opinion:
if I tell someone I have a "Specific Learning Disorder" they'll generally have no idea what I'm talking about. it's easier and feels more self-consistent to tell them the name of the condition I was diagnosed with, even if it's outdated.
the new DSM-5 diagnosis doesn't account for people like me who were able to excel academically despite difficulty with numbers and names. did I have to read numbers 10+ times to make sure I knew I had the right one? yes. do I still struggle immensely to do basic arithmetic in my head? absolutely. am I also a software engineer who sometimes has to work with numbers? yes. did I get straight A's in all my math classes? yes. people with dyslexia and dyscalculia excel all the time by discovering and using their own coping mechanisms, so this diagnosis seems overly reductive to me.
again, I'm not a professional. is it possible that my symptoms which were previously attributed to dyscalculia are just a part of my ASD? sure. but I'm pretty sure if I said I have trouble remembering Elliot Page's name because I'm autistic, people still wouldn't know what I was talking about, and I'd have an even harder time explaining it. so there you go.
Im also diagnosed ASD and now you are trying to use that to defend deadnaming, just stop. Disability doesn't justify deadnaming people. If you can't remember their name just google it like you would for anyone else who's name you can't remember. If you know they don't use that name anymore and don't like when people refer to them with it, even if you can't remember what they prefer you shouldn't use the old name. Just don't use the old name, its dead.. let it be dead. Dont use it. Its so simple, dont use that name if you know they don't want people using that name.
Generally when you can't remember something, you don't even know you've forgotten it. Do I think this is a lame excuse to ever deadname someone, sure! I am not defending this specific person, however as someone who suffers with similar issues, its infuriating to hear "Well if you cant remember, just Google it!". Like, you need to understand they don't realize they've even forgotten, and its will make you feel like shit to realize you've yet again forgotten something. (And may even feel gaslit if in some circumstances.)
Stop trying to justify shitty behavior with disabilities, its wildly offensive and ableist. Disability doesn't justify deadnaming. Just stop.
This disability that hasn't been in the DSM for over 10 years doesn't mention anything about forgetting if someone transitioned. If you know the name is dead, don't use it. For fucks sake its so simple.
You wanna know what being gaslit feels like?? When the people around you keep making up shitty excuseses for why they can't use your preferred name and make it out like you are the bad guy for asking them to use the correct one.
You didn't read my comment and it shows.
Serious question: what does deadnaming mean?
Calling someone by the name they had pre-transition.
Using the birth name of someone who took a new name after transitioning
ooooooh, gotcha. Thanks for curing some of my ignorance
See? They're just gonna turn this place into reddit no matter what. lemmy's gonna end up just as shitty as that. Petty fascists ruining everything. Fuck off with this stupidity. And the fact that this is posted with unironic intention is absolutely stunning, honestly it does read like an Onion headline so i guess kudos for that but like, what are you even doing having power here, missing so fundamental a point as this? its just embarrassing... The Onion itself would fire you
The Onion doesn't deadname people either, because they're decent people. You just want to be transphobic because you think it's edgy.
So someone made up a rumor that this Sophia person was dating Jenner. Sophia publicly and transphobically denied this. Sophia is a known member of a transphobic group associated with the Republican party.
Who the fuck started this weird ass rumor? Why are we talking about this? How is this news at all?
It’s funny how many “how is this news?” complaints I get on this community. There’s a reason I put these types of stories on this community
Totally fair. For what it's worth, my comment wasn't directed at your post -- the title is totally oniony and perfect for this community.
My bafflement was more directed at the article itself.
This community is for serious hard hitting journalism. That's why it's called not The Onion.
No shit. Why would someone who isn’t date her
did she forget shes trans or something?
Conservatives who hate their own people, a classic pairing. Like Chianti and liver
They're not really "their own people". When you have a pool of hundreds of millions of people to pick from, it's easy enough to find someone who is willing to sell out their race, gender or sexuality for 15 minutes of fame, only to be second against the wall when the fascists they've enabled take power.
add fava beans and we are having a party
No, she just never bothered to learn anything about other trans people, attempted to speak for all of us, managed to get the media on board about that for a few months, and has spent the following 8 years being criticized by us for her republicanism and refusal to understand the realities of being a trans person who isn’t stupid rich.
Did anyone watch the video? It's like she's trying so hard to say "eew transgender am I right? Eww I totally don't like transgenders...eeww...please like me conservatives"
She sounds like a real piece of shit.
,,,yeah, that sounds about right.
You think this is going to be another 'Buckle up Buckeroo' kinda deal?
Man that right wing grift money must be a hell of a drug
For the record, folks: Deadnaming a trans person will earn you an instant, permanent ban.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled real-life-imitating-The-Onion content.
That seems like an easily made, honest mistake. I would hope context matters more.
for real, I'm pro trans rights and I still sometimes accidentally deadname Elliot Page because I have dyscalculia. if you ban me for that aren't you being ableist?
also yes context is very important.
if I say "when Caitlyn went by the name [X], and she used [Y] pronoun, [Z] thing happened to [Y]", I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I'm innocently adding clarity to a conversation.
to make things worse, if someone is trans and gender fluid, and I call them by a name or pronoun they used last time I knew about them, now I've committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.
this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.
What does that have to do with deadnaming people? Don't try to use a disability as a shield for shitty behavior.
Yes because that's still deadnaming, that information isn't relevant and isn't needed in context. It's not necessary to dead name and misgender someone to talk about things they did before transition. It's completely unnecessary, and in the context of your example you KNOW they don't use that anymore so its actually worse.
No you haven't no one is going to get mad about simply not knowing a change has been made. Its when you KNOW what they prefer and yet you still deadname them.
No it doesn't
wow aren't you just a ray of sunshine.
I guess you're the expert here since you Googled a condition & now you know everything there is to know about it, right?
let me break it down. over 12 years ago when I was diagnosed, among the better-known symptoms like mixing up numbers, "misremembering names" (especially those that start with the same letter/sound) was a frequently published symptom of dyscalculia (and dyslexia, FWIW):
fast forward to 2013, in the DSM-5 they changed the definition of dyslexia and dyscalculia, removed them as diagnoses and instead replaced them with a more general diagnosis: "Specific Learning Disorder", which among other things now requires that a person is "unable to perform academically at a level appropriate to their intelligence and age."
in my opinion, and this is just my non-professional opinion:
if I tell someone I have a "Specific Learning Disorder" they'll generally have no idea what I'm talking about. it's easier and feels more self-consistent to tell them the name of the condition I was diagnosed with, even if it's outdated.
the new DSM-5 diagnosis doesn't account for people like me who were able to excel academically despite difficulty with numbers and names. did I have to read numbers 10+ times to make sure I knew I had the right one? yes. do I still struggle immensely to do basic arithmetic in my head? absolutely. am I also a software engineer who sometimes has to work with numbers? yes. did I get straight A's in all my math classes? yes. people with dyslexia and dyscalculia excel all the time by discovering and using their own coping mechanisms, so this diagnosis seems overly reductive to me.
again, I'm not a professional. is it possible that my symptoms which were previously attributed to dyscalculia are just a part of my ASD? sure. but I'm pretty sure if I said I have trouble remembering Elliot Page's name because I'm autistic, people still wouldn't know what I was talking about, and I'd have an even harder time explaining it. so there you go.
Im also diagnosed ASD and now you are trying to use that to defend deadnaming, just stop. Disability doesn't justify deadnaming people. If you can't remember their name just google it like you would for anyone else who's name you can't remember. If you know they don't use that name anymore and don't like when people refer to them with it, even if you can't remember what they prefer you shouldn't use the old name. Just don't use the old name, its dead.. let it be dead. Dont use it. Its so simple, dont use that name if you know they don't want people using that name.
Generally when you can't remember something, you don't even know you've forgotten it. Do I think this is a lame excuse to ever deadname someone, sure! I am not defending this specific person, however as someone who suffers with similar issues, its infuriating to hear "Well if you cant remember, just Google it!". Like, you need to understand they don't realize they've even forgotten, and its will make you feel like shit to realize you've yet again forgotten something. (And may even feel gaslit if in some circumstances.)
Stop trying to justify shitty behavior with disabilities, its wildly offensive and ableist. Disability doesn't justify deadnaming. Just stop.
This disability that hasn't been in the DSM for over 10 years doesn't mention anything about forgetting if someone transitioned. If you know the name is dead, don't use it. For fucks sake its so simple.
You wanna know what being gaslit feels like?? When the people around you keep making up shitty excuseses for why they can't use your preferred name and make it out like you are the bad guy for asking them to use the correct one.
You didn't read my comment and it shows.
Serious question: what does deadnaming mean?
Calling someone by the name they had pre-transition.
what in the world is deadnaming?
Using the birth name of someone who took a new name after transitioning
ooooooh, gotcha. Thanks for curing some of my ignorance
See? They're just gonna turn this place into reddit no matter what. lemmy's gonna end up just as shitty as that. Petty fascists ruining everything. Fuck off with this stupidity. And the fact that this is posted with unironic intention is absolutely stunning, honestly it does read like an Onion headline so i guess kudos for that but like, what are you even doing having power here, missing so fundamental a point as this? its just embarrassing... The Onion itself would fire you
The Onion doesn't deadname people either, because they're decent people. You just want to be transphobic because you think it's edgy.
fuck you
i am so
fucking
confused
She must be too.
What a weird thing.
So someone made up a rumor that this Sophia person was dating Jenner. Sophia publicly and transphobically denied this. Sophia is a known member of a transphobic group associated with the Republican party.
Who the fuck started this weird ass rumor? Why are we talking about this? How is this news at all?
It’s funny how many “how is this news?” complaints I get on this community. There’s a reason I put these types of stories on this community
Totally fair. For what it's worth, my comment wasn't directed at your post -- the title is totally oniony and perfect for this community.
My bafflement was more directed at the article itself.
This community is for serious hard hitting journalism. That's why it's called not The Onion.
No shit. Why would someone who isn’t date her
did she forget shes trans or something?
Conservatives who hate their own people, a classic pairing. Like Chianti and liver
They're not really "their own people". When you have a pool of hundreds of millions of people to pick from, it's easy enough to find someone who is willing to sell out their race, gender or sexuality for 15 minutes of fame, only to be second against the wall when the fascists they've enabled take power.
add fava beans and we are having a party
No, she just never bothered to learn anything about other trans people, attempted to speak for all of us, managed to get the media on board about that for a few months, and has spent the following 8 years being criticized by us for her republicanism and refusal to understand the realities of being a trans person who isn’t stupid rich.
Did anyone watch the video? It's like she's trying so hard to say "eew transgender am I right? Eww I totally don't like transgenders...eeww...please like me conservatives"
She sounds like a real piece of shit.
,,,yeah, that sounds about right.
You think this is going to be another 'Buckle up Buckeroo' kinda deal?
The girlfriend has some Nadine the robot vibes