Break my phone if she ain't

psy32nd@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 443 points –
26

“My how you’ve grown!”

“I’m onto you, grandma.”

keeping her in a cardboard box is probably the right move

Eh, I'll take it at this point...

I'll happily take a state appointed surveillance gf

"He's got a bunch of ebooks for improvised munitions and amphetamine synthesis, but he's way too fucking stupid and lazy to do anything with it. Please dear god can you take me off this assignment"

Me, training in counterintelligence my entire life just in case I ever get a date:

This is the truth.

Only have sex with men if you want to be an independent, free citizen

But which state?

Gaseous I think though solid doesn't seem like too long of a stretch

If a woman showed interest (lolol), I'd unironically be inclined to ask her who she works for...

There's no hope for me anymore.

And often these women look like Mrs. Puff...

Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to.