Shit, they've caught on to my cunning plan!

FakeGreekGirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone to

196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 520 points – 5 months ago

This is true, by the way.

Depending on which of the 4 colors bite you, you either become an L, a G, a B or a T.

L, a G, a B or a T.

LAGABORAT: Let's All Glare At Borat

Liquid Assisted Gastric Ant Bioweapon: Orientation Reconfigurating Assault Transmitter

BRB, pitching this as a horror movie to the studio that made The Sound of Freedom.

Great success! High five!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeah we thought we could go through with this unnoticed, but the christians are just a little too clever.

but the christians are just a little too clever.

There's a phrase I've never heard before.

Well this was foretold in the book of revelations.

"And ye will cower and fear, the insect small. Ants, with their gay, will swarm and convert the unwilling into a life of sin.

Gay Antgenda

Yass Queen!

Something something... Flaming Ants?

Also:

What is this, a Gay Agenda for ants?

That's all I got.

What do you think we are spraying when we spray for mosquitos? Of course it is to help the little flying pests turn Christians gay. Really. Have you ever seen the mosquito population actually go down? Do you really know what is in that spray? You just assumed, and now you too are gay.

Holy shit I am gay! This is really happening.

TIL: Homosexuality was a religion?

Or is Christianity a sexual orientation?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_International#Loving_Jesus

"Loving Jesus" is a term TFI members use to describe their intimate, sexual relationship with Jesus. TFI describes its "Loving Jesus" teaching as a radical form of bridal theology. They believe the church of followers is Christ's bride, called to love and serve him with wifely fervor; however, this bridal theology is taken further, encouraging members to imagine Jesus is joining them during sexual intercourse and masturbation. Male members are cautioned to visualize themselves as women, in order to avoid a homosexual relationship with Jesus.

OK, hot

What if I'm already gay, can the ants pick up on this and leave me alone?

They'll make you somehow even gayer.

Not just gay, SUPERGAY™.

And it's like, how much more gay can I be?

And the answer is, none. None more gay.

The ants might try to date you

If that's true why aren't the sugar water pools in rainbow order. Folks, let's not get tricked by fake news. The real threat is rainbows and, of course, double rainbows.

I knew it